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Girlfriend thinks I called her fat but i didn’t

My girlfriend and I have been going out for a month now and she’s quite insecure about it and I’ve always comforted her and told her she is amazing. I think she is amazing and she’s the love of my life. But because she misheard me she said she doesn’t want me to see her naked ever again and has said we won’t be intimate, which we haven’t yet. She loves me but now feels self conscious around me as well as herself. She was quite self conscious before.

The question is how do i convince her otherwise and let her know how much I love her and her body.

Reply 1

41JumpStreet

Your girlfriends insecurities sound like they are deep rooted and not really down to you. She is not happy with her weight/appearance and will have, at some point, expected you to confirm her feelings about it. “Mishearing” you is a perfect example. It could have been she misinterpreted a gesture instead or made an assumption about an action you made.

What you need to do is forget about trying to convince her, you won’t. It will sound like you are trying to apologize and could further entrench her belief that you are judging or shaming her.

You are best to let her come round to feeling comfortable with you again. Take your time and don’t raise the issue unless she does. If she brings up her appearance, downplay it like it’s something ridiculous and move off the subject, compliment her on how good she looks whenever you can and she will slowly lower her guard.

It sounds like something that needs to be addressed for her though. She is not happy and probably feels stuck. She needs to be ready to make that change herself though. All you can do is support her and keep letting her know that you think she is beautiful.

Good luck!

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 2

Dunnig Kruger

If you are under 18, respect her wishes. And keep her as a very good platonic friend.

If you are 18, and are at uni or go to work, call her bluff. Tell her that she will always have a special place in your heart. But that you are looking for the physical intimacy that you get from a full girlfriend, that you hoped it would be her. But seeing as she doesn't want to go down that route, you will reluctantly have to reserve the right to go out with other women and have sex with them.