Having an abortion without telling my boyfriend?

I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 16. I've literally just done a pregnancy test and it's positive. I absolutely hate children and never want to have any, so I want an abortion.

I don't want to tell my boyfriend because he'll only get upset and I don't think he's mature enough to handle the truth. I also don't want to risk him breaking up with me for aborting his kid. I feel guilty wanting to do it behind his back but I think it's the best thing to do. What should I do?

Reply 1

Johnnyboy24

8

Hello,

My recommendation is to abort the child but tell your boyfriend first. Truth of the matter is that it’s your body and you can do whatever you want since you’re the one carrying the child. If he tries to convince you or even threaten leaving you for wanting to abort, its best to take a loss by losing him. Just remember this if he tries to convince you to keep it:

-Your boyfriend isn’t ready to be a father at his age
-At that age boys are unpredictable and you both might be mad in love now, but it can make a U-turn fast
-There’s a high percentage in you being a single mother as a result of keeping the child.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 2

Lifeismad

17

You don't think he's mature enough?

no sh*t tf

Reply 3

Foxehh

21

I suggest you tell him. Dont let him pressure you to keep it, though.

Reply 4

black tea

19

Just stop with your troll threads...

Reply 5

NA_03

15

Firstly, why are u dating a 16 yr old at this big age?
He is still a baby himself...

Reply 6

username4591444

21

Original post by Sparklewave

I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 16. I've literally just done a pregnancy test and it's positive. I absolutely hate children and never want to have any, so I want an abortion.

I don't want to tell my boyfriend because he'll only get upset and I don't think he's mature enough to handle the truth. I also don't want to risk him breaking up with me for aborting his kid. I feel guilty wanting to do it behind his back but I think it's the best thing to do. What should I do?

He's having sex with a 20 year old so anything mature enough for you will have to be for him, he should be involved in all of the consequences, that's reality for him.

Why would he break up with you, would he want to have a kid at 16? You should tell him, and go with your decision regardless of what he says.

Reply 7

Sparklewave

OP

9

Original post by NA_03

Firstly, why are u dating a 16 yr old at this big age?
He is still a baby himself...

He's the hottest guy I've ever seen, the sex is amazing, he's really funny, really kind and treats me really well, much better than how guys my age have treated me. We have a lot in common and a lot to talk about.

Original post by leopard202

He's having sex with a 20 year old so anything mature enough for you will have to be for him, he should be involved in all of the consequences, that's reality for him.

Why would he break up with you, would he want to have a kid at 16? You should tell him, and go with your decision regardless of what he says.

Thanks. No I don't think he wants to have a kid at 16, but I'm scared that he won't handle it well if I tell him (he can be immature sometimes), and I'm scared he might want to break up with me because of it. I think it would be easier to just have the abortion and not tell him, to protect him and to protect our relationship.

Reply 8

Kandiman

16

Don't tell him if you don't want to. Your body, you choice. This isn't America.

Unless it is, then I'm really sorry for everything you're about to live through.

Reply 9

Sparklewave

OP

9

Original post by Kandiman

Don't tell him if you don't want to. Your body, you choice. This isn't America.

Unless it is, then I'm really sorry for everything you're about to live through.

Thanks. I live in England.

Reply 10

username4591444

21

Original post by Sparklewave

He's the hottest guy I've ever seen, the sex is amazing, he's really funny, really kind and treats me really well, much better than how guys my age have treated me. We have a lot in common and a lot to talk about.

Thanks. No I don't think he wants to have a kid at 16, but I'm scared that he won't handle it well if I tell him (he can be immature sometimes), and I'm scared he might want to break up with me because of it. I think it would be easier to just have the abortion and not tell him, to protect him and to protect our relationship.

You're the one who's having the abortion, so how you handle it is much more important. It's nice you're protective of him, but truth in a relationship he needs to be involved with all these major decisions. If he breaks up with you for it, then that's what's meant to be. If he is still with you and in the dark about something so important, how can it feel right?

However he may well not, so don't place your decision on that.

Reply 11

NA_03

15

Original post by Sparklewave

He's the hottest guy I've ever seen, the sex is amazing, he's really funny, really kind and treats me really well, much better than how guys my age have treated me. We have a lot in common and a lot to talk about.

I am very happy for you however he is still a kid and you are a grown woman. You’re in different stages I’m your life and I’m my opinion this doesn’t seem appropriate.

Reply 12

Sparklewave

OP

9

Original post by NA_03

I am very happy for you however he is still a kid and you are a grown woman. You’re in different stages I’m your life and I’m my opinion this doesn’t seem appropriate.

Thanks I guess. I know we're in different stages in life, he's at school and I'm at uni. We're very happy together though and he's the best guy I've ever been out with.

Reply 13

NA_03

15

Original post by Sparklewave

Thanks I guess. I know we're in different stages in life, he's at school and I'm at uni. We're very happy together though and he's the best guy I've ever been out with.

Well it’s not my place to tell u what’s wrong and what’s right. It’s up to u and if you’re happy then I’ll support you in every way possible.

Keep in mind things can get difficult cuz you’re dealing with different things regarding you’re studies. Don’t let each other get in the way of you’re education. Good luck to both of you ! xx

OP

Bump.

OP

I hate children and never want to have any, but he's a young adult. He can be immature sometimes but all his good points seriously outweigh that.

Reply 16

2500_2

18

Original post by Sparklewave

I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 16. I've literally just done a pregnancy test and it's positive. I absolutely hate children and never want to have any, so I want an abortion.

I don't want to tell my boyfriend because he'll only get upset and I don't think he's mature enough to handle the truth. I also don't want to risk him breaking up with me for aborting his kid. I feel guilty wanting to do it behind his back but I think it's the best thing to do. What should I do?

If you think this relationship is long-term, you need to tell him. Coming up later will have bigger consequences.
Also you might find this harder than you think it will be, make sure you have some support to help you if you need it, even if not him.