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Me and my friend fancy the same guy?!

Ive known this girl for about 1 year. Recently i met her crush. Shes known him for almost 3 years but has had a crush on him for a little while. The problem is, I fancy him too!

It gets even worse because he told me that he fancies me too. Obviously I would go for it and date him but I feel like I can’t and it will be really weird for my friend if this happens, she has known him way longer than me and has no clue that I even like him.

Advice?!?
If I were in your shoes, I would talk to my friend and make an agreement that neither of us would pursue them. It's always better to put a solid friendship before a prospective relationship.
Seriously, talk to her about it. Whatever you do, don't go behind her back unless you don't intend to keep her as a friend.
Reply 3
Original post by 1582
If I were in your shoes, I would talk to my friend and make an agreement that neither of us would pursue them. It's always better to put a solid friendship before a prospective relationship.


I really like him though and he likes me! Literally I have liked this guy more than anyone before so it kind of feels like a waste to not even try :frown: but at the same time i get that she would be superrrr annoyed
Original post by Anonymous
I really like him though and he likes me! Literally I have liked this guy more than anyone before so it kind of feels like a waste to not even try :frown: but at the same time i get that she would be superrrr annoyed

Is it worth potentionally losing your friend over?
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Seriously, talk to her about it. Whatever you do, don't go behind her back unless you don't intend to keep her as a friend.


Thats the problem, I want the best of both worlds! I wouldn’t go behind her back of course but I just want him and her friendship at the same time :frown:
Reply 6
Original post by 1582
Is it worth potentionally losing your friend over?


I cant say that for definite but it might be
Reply 7
You'll have to come to that decision then. THATS the deciding factor. Literally. Think about it :smile:

Original post by Anonymous
I cant say that for definite but it might be
Original post by Anonymous
I cant say that for definite but it might be

if you consider her a friend, you won’t put some guy you barely know over your friendship. seriously, a lot of guys are just massive d*cks, and you won’t know if he is or not until it’s too late and you’ve already ruined your friendship with this girl. whatever you do, DO NOT go behind her back. just talk to her first - she might not actually be annoyed! if you explain that he likes you back, she might realise she probably doesn’t have a chance with him right now, and she may even support you!! however i’d be absolutely certain you want to pursue a relationship with this guy before doing so, because a silly fling or infatuation is not worth losing a close friend over.
Reply 9
Original post by franklyfruity
if you consider her a friend, you won’t put some guy you barely know over your friendship. seriously, a lot of guys are just massive d*cks, and you won’t know if he is or not until it’s too late and you’ve already ruined your friendship with this girl. whatever you do, DO NOT go behind her back. just talk to her first - she might not actually be annoyed! if you explain that he likes you back, she might realise she probably doesn’t have a chance with him right now, and she may even support you!! however i’d be absolutely certain you want to pursue a relationship with this guy before doing so, because a silly fling or infatuation is not worth losing a close friend over.


Im like 99% certain that i will regret not pursuing anything, i have tried for ages to get over him..also she definitely wont be ok with it (she literally said to me not to fancy him when she showed me him haha) thank you for the advice!
Bump
Reply 11
It highly likely the friendship will suffer badly if you go for it and it’s generally viewed as bad form to do this to a mate. This said, if he’s not up for it with her it is a bit unfair of her not to see the bigger picture and you can weigh up what means the most to you
how good are you at rock, paper, scissors?

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