The Student Room Group

Controlling and overbearing parents

Please someone give me advice for dealing with control freak weirdos.......every part of my life is being stalked
To be honest my parents are like that too. Ranging from a no dating rule and dressing restrictions, I have a 5pm curfew on weekdays and on weekends Im not allowed to go out alone (I'm 18 fyi) and they check my phone every now and then because I'm not allowed to have ANY social media. (Was caught using Instagram and my mum beat me up)

I'm actually not allowed to work part time either of I would've tried saving up and moving out ASAP, so I'm waiting until after uni now, getting a job and moving out when I can because even if I can't live in luxury I want to be able to breathe inside my house.

My advice to you would be to move out ASAP. I know people are going to say that you should try 'talking' to them but in my experience that NEVER works. Instead they justify their behaviour by saying they're doing what's right for you but it's soooo toxic.

All the best!
Maybe this is a misunderstanding
Original post by Anonymous
To be honest my parents are like that too. Ranging from a no dating rule and dressing restrictions, I have a 5pm curfew on weekdays and on weekends Im not allowed to go out alone (I'm 18 fyi) and they check my phone every now and then because I'm not allowed to have ANY social media. (Was caught using Instagram and my mum beat me up)

I'm actually not allowed to work part time either of I would've tried saving up and moving out ASAP, so I'm waiting until after uni now, getting a job and moving out when I can because even if I can't live in luxury I want to be able to breathe inside my house.

My advice to you would be to move out ASAP. I know people are going to say that you should try 'talking' to them but in my experience that NEVER works. Instead they justify their behaviour by saying they're doing what's right for you but it's soooo toxic.

All the best!

Are you not able to move out to student accommodation when you start university?
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
To be honest my parents are like that too. Ranging from a no dating rule and dressing restrictions, I have a 5pm curfew on weekdays and on weekends Im not allowed to go out alone (I'm 18 fyi) and they check my phone every now and then because I'm not allowed to have ANY social media. (Was caught using Instagram and my mum beat me up)

I'm actually not allowed to work part time either of I would've tried saving up and moving out ASAP, so I'm waiting until after uni now, getting a job and moving out when I can because even if I can't live in luxury I want to be able to breathe inside my house.

My advice to you would be to move out ASAP. I know people are going to say that you should try 'talking' to them but in my experience that NEVER works. Instead they justify their behaviour by saying they're doing what's right for you but it's soooo toxic.

All the best!


yee same... except my parents say i can leave after im married, i like dip before that my mom says im not aloud to contact my family again or even talk to her, she said im not aloud to take any of the stuff she bought me. So I am finna get married at 18, and then move out and get divorced but i aint moving back in with her.
Original post by meiyah
yee same... except my parents say i can leave after im married, i like dip before that my mom says im not aloud to contact my family again or even talk to her, she said im not aloud to take any of the stuff she bought me. So I am finna get married at 18, and then move out and get divorced but i aint moving back in with her.


Divorcing is going to much more expensive and time consuming than just leaving whatever you can't quickly grab when moving out.
Original post by meiyah
yee same... except my parents say i can leave after im married, i like dip before that my mom says im not aloud to contact my family again or even talk to her, she said im not aloud to take any of the stuff she bought me. So I am finna get married at 18, and then move out and get divorced but i aint moving back in with her.

Don't get married as a teenager solely to escape toxic controlling parents and plan to have the last laugh on them by divorcing soon after getting away.
Even if you are honest and find someone who is willing to help you out.
Domestic abuse through controlling&coercive behaviour, child cruelty, violence and false imprisonment are all illegal.
Same if there is any religious imposition or attempts at forced marriage involved.

All the stuff that you have been bought and given for birthdays belongs to you.
Arrange to store all your most valuable items somewhere safe.
Make recordings of your parents verbally abusing, physically attacking or threatening you with ultimatums and the 'you will stay here obeying us until marriage or else' so that you can prove that they have been controlling & coercive towards you.
Good luck!
Original post by alanb21
Are you not able to move out to student accommodation when you start university?

No....I'm not allowed to work so they're paying for my education and think that I'm obliged to live in the same house as them when they're paying for everything
Original post by meiyah
yee same... except my parents say i can leave after im married, i like dip before that my mom says im not aloud to contact my family again or even talk to her, she said im not aloud to take any of the stuff she bought me. So I am finna get married at 18, and then move out and get divorced but i aint moving back in with her.

Oh they said the exact same thing to me, not that I'm gonna listen
Original post by Anonymous
No....I'm not allowed to work so they're paying for my education and think that I'm obliged to live in the same house as them when they're paying for everything


But you're able to apply for student loans and move to accommodation by your self without their permission, are you not able to do that?
I'm assuming you're in the UK. You won't have to pay for your student loans which cover accommodation and tuition until after you graduate, and even then you will only have to pay a percentage if you earn over the threshold set which I think is around £25,000 a year.
Original post by alanb21
But you're able to apply for student loans and move to accommodation by your self without their permission, are you not able to do that?
I'm assuming you're in the UK. You won't have to pay for your student loans which cover accommodation and tuition until after you graduate, and even then you will only have to pay a percentage if you earn over the threshold set which I think is around £25,000 a year.

Apologies for the late response. Yes I'm in the UK but I moved here with my family recently so I'm not a national which means uni is pretty expensive and I'm not eligible for student loans.

Update: my parents and I are moving back to our country but they said after I finish college (my a levels) there I can cone back to the UK for uni by myself since they don't wanna come back. So just two years of college and then I'll cut them off once I move back here. If I can do it, so can you guys! Good luck!

Quick Reply

Latest