Is my boyfriend making no effort or am I being paranoid?

ah but what if his girlfriend is being grumpy,

if he's playing a game of FIFA and she demands he stop playing, and then they sit there while she moans about how he ignores her, i mean that's not going to be enjoyable for either of them.

whereas If she asks to play and shows an interest then they can both have fun together, i mean it's not like she had something planned, she just came over to spend time with him, she could easily do that, she just wants to do it on her terms

Well.. He could play FIFA before she came, and do something else with her when she came around, not including FIFA? :P At least go to bed the same time as her, like couples do? And not sleep on the sofa when she spends the night?

Although FIFA isn't the real issue here, it's just part of the problems she has with him.

i get you with the going to bed thing, sleeping on the sofa is a bit weird.

its just everyone seems to be going "get rid of him" "he treats you like crap" blah blah blah and i feel like playing devils advocate lol, sticking up for my fellow man, it doesn't mean he doesn't like her or appreciate her but maybe he's just not as dependent on her as she is on him.

Im only focusing on the FIFA because its an example of where she could try and get involved with him in an area where he is comfortable, instead of demanding that everything be done to accommodate her, i mean she could just drop her kecks and he'd probably turn off FIFA but i think she wants an alternate solution haha :P

I see :P Well I'll stand up for my fellow girl. I know how frustrating it is to feel I am making the whole relationship work by myself, just because I like him too much to dump him because of these details (which he probably doesn't realise he's doing, untill she gives him less attention).
Maybe he isn't as dependent on her, but he shouldn't assume she will stick around forever if he never contacts her or does small manly favours for her like pick her up. She makes the effort to come around, call him, text him etc, while he recieves it all and seems to expect her to make all the effort. Taking her for granted.

To me, it just sounds like he is just taking more than giving.

well if you pay for petrol plus when its really snowy it'a just as dangerous for him to drive to get you

Not when it's your pregnant girlfriend walking in the snow instead.
.

ah but what if his girlfriend is being grumpy,

if he's playing a game of FIFA and she demands he stop playing, and then they sit there while she moans about how he ignores her, i mean that's not going to be enjoyable for either of them.

whereas If she asks to play and shows an interest then they can both have fun together, i mean it's not like she had something planned, she just came over to spend time with him, she could easily do that, she just wants to do it on her terms

I feel I may have portrayed myself as a bit of a whiney bitch here

Well I have tried to get involved in it... we had a master plan that he was going to train me up until I was amazing then we were going to trick all our friends out of loads of money when I beat them all.. but then they started playing a season and cups etc so I they dont want me to play anymore because I'll ruin it lol... obv I get it. I'm a girl so I was pretty awful. And if I just pop round after uni I won't make a fuss if they play because we don't have plans but I don't like it when he'll be like, baaabe please come over I wanna see you. Or if I have stayed over and he'll ask me to stay another night and then do that.. its a bit like, why did I bother, you know?

I feel I may have portrayed myself as a bit of a whiney bitch here - I mean I am girly; I'm a cheerleader and practically live in topshop, but I also love cars, football and porn so I am interested in the things he likes, and will enjoy discussing them, but its kind of awkward when I can't be involved in something. I have a few times watched their fifa battles intently and got quite into it and vocalised my support but then if one of them misses they'll be like, 'oh you were distracting us' hence why now I just sort of sit there lol. I mean I completely understand the effect of fifa so I'd never make him stop playing (although I'm more of a COD girl myself), but if he asks to spend time with me I wish he would. Its just annoying when I could be at home studying or something else.. if you understand where I'm coming from?

In fairness she didn't say how far along, and then i think she said she got an abortion shortly after, so it's not like full on preggers. jus' sayin.

And it would be just as dangerous, it's a lot safer walking in the snow than driving. I don't know where she lives but in some areas they were advising no driving unless absolutely necessary.

Well I have tried to get involved in it... we had a master plan that he was going to train me up until I was amazing then we were going to trick all our friends out of loads of money when I beat them all.. but then they started playing a season and cups etc so I they dont want me to play anymore because I'll ruin it lol... obv I get it. I'm a girl so I was pretty awful. And if I just pop round after uni I won't make a fuss if they play because we don't have plans but I don't like it when he'll be like, baaabe please come over I wanna see you. Or if I have stayed over and he'll ask me to stay another night and then do that.. its a bit like, why did I bother, you know?

I feel I may have portrayed myself as a bit of a whiney bitch here - I mean I am girly; I'm a cheerleader and practically live in topshop, but I also love cars, football and porn so I am interested in the things he likes, and will enjoy discussing them, but its kind of awkward when I can't be involved in something. I have a few times watched their fifa battles intently and got quite into it and vocalised my support but then if one of them misses they'll be like, 'oh you were distracting us' hence why now I just sort of sit there lol. I mean I completely understand the effect of fifa so I'd never make him stop playing (although I'm more of a COD girl myself), but if he asks to spend time with me I wish he would. Its just annoying when I could be at home studying or something else.. if you understand where I'm coming from?

Hey guys,

I have been with my boyfriend (officially) for 6 months having been seeing each other (without being with anyone else) for a year. We met in first year at uni and I wouldn't have pictured myself with someone like him but we really click and get on so well when we're together, however things have been getting on my nerves recently...

He has his car at uni and I don't drive. It takes me an hour to get the bus to his and he will never drive to see me or ever offer to pick me up despite it being a ten minute drive on his part. In the last few weeks of uni when it was snowy, I discovered to my complete shock that I was pregnant (just one of those really unlucky things - missed pill etc). The entire time I was pregnant he still made me get the bus to his. On the worst snowy day all the buses were cancelled/postponed and he still let me walk to his (a two hour journey - although managed to see a bus in the end - but he was still willing to let me do this). I'm really not a lazy person at all. I'm really fit and healthy and do loads of sports so its not that that bothers me. He just never seems willing to do anything for me.

At uni when I stay at his, he lives with one other boy who I'm also very good friends with. When I come over they'll play FIFA for hours straight and I'm just left to sit there with literally nothing to do. I'll say I'm going to bed (at like 2am) and many times he'll only come to bed at about 5am, or I'll wake up in the morning to find he's fallen asleep on the sofa in the living room.

Over Christmas he said he would come to see me but still hasn't. He wants to get his work out of the way first which is fine with me because I'm in the same situation obviously and I understand he won't want to be stressed when he comes to visit, but once again its been put off. He said he would pay for me to get the train to visit him, but won't introduce me to his mum??? He says he is in love with me and I love him so I don't see why he wouldn't want me to meet his family. I don't want to turn up at his house and for his mum to think I'm just some random slut, I think I deserve some recognition??

He's also been ignoring my texts recently too. He won't text me all day or won't text back for 8 hours (and I'll leave him to it because he has revision and gets stressed) but yesterday he said he would call me at 11pm as we've not spoken properly for days, then at 11.30pm I text him asking whether he was asleep or he'd forgotten we were going to chat. He replied that he was playing on FIFA which was why he hadn't called and then was going to watch a film after so couldn't text me. He then said he might call but will probs be too tired to do so.

So what's the craic guys and girls? He tells me he loves me all the time and I really do believe him but a lot of the time I just want to give up. But then he'll say sorry and I'm drawn back in every time. I don't think I am clingy at all, I'm never the one to do the chasing in a relationship but the whole situation is making me so insecure I'm worried I'm becoming clingy!

Is he being mean or am I paranoid?

Thanks (sorry about the essay) x

wait for him to call you. ignore a text or two. start being busy with your life. if he wants you enough he will make an effort. if he doesn't, then he won't. and so make him realise you are wanted elsewhere, and realise what he had.

i'm kindof in the same position, the xbox is prioritised higher than me. and all of a sudden i'm the one texing him and behaving all needy and embarrassingly clingy. but i love him grr.