Boyfriend lied to me

I know my boyfriend is meeting up with a friend (female) as I saw it pop up on chat yesterday but didn't think anything of it so didn't mention it.

Today is the day he's meeting her, he just told me he's going out but only said that he's going out to get presents for his parents. I didn't say that I knew he was meeting a friend just said a normal goodbye.

Should I be worried?

Please no responses telling me just to break up with him.

Reply 1

Potential Trigger

12

How long have u been with him?

Hmm it does seem strange. The fact he lied shows maybe there is more to it. On the other hand he may have thought it would be made into a bigger issue if he said he was meeting a girl?

Difficult and best to ask him out right. Also how long has he know this girl?

He could be meeting her and presents for his parents too!

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 2

Sicaspeak

9

Can I just ask, were you on his Facebook (or whatever he was using) without his knowledge or was he on it and you just happened to see it?

I personally think that it's going to be a lot harder for you to deal with if you just keep this worry to yourself, it's just going to eat away at you and you'll begin suspecting his every move. If I were you I'd try to speak to him and ask him why he didn't feel like he could tell you the truth.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 3

OrangeTwo

2

When he gets back just tell him your mate saw him with a female friend. Them ask him politely who she was. Voila.

Reply 4

Dude Where's My Username

15

He didn't lie. He just didn't mention he's getting presents with a female friend. Clearly did that to avoid threads like this popping up. Maybe he fancies her, maybe he doesn't. If breaking up is not an option then put it at the back of your mind and let him get on with it.

Start going out with some male friends and see how long it takes to start throwing bitch fits. When he starts doing that, question why it's ok for him to go out alone with his female friend and be so secretive about it but not for you to do the same.

I personally don't think questioning him when he comes back is going to solve anything. He wont mention it on chat from now. He'll switch to a secret Whats App profile of something instead.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Potential Trigger

How long have u been with him?

Hmm it does seem strange. The fact he lied shows maybe there is more to it. On the other hand he may have thought it would be made into a bigger issue if he said he was meeting a girl?

Difficult and best to ask him out right. Also how long has he know this girl?

He could be meeting her and presents for his parents too!

We've been together for 2 years. he has known her for a long time but rarely sees her.

Original post by Sicaspeak

Can I just ask, were you on his Facebook (or whatever he was using) without his knowledge or was he on it and you just happened to see it?

I personally think that it's going to be a lot harder for you to deal with if you just keep this worry to yourself, it's just going to eat away at you and you'll begin suspecting his every move. If I were you I'd try to speak to him and ask him why he didn't feel like he could tell you the truth.

I wasn't on his facebook, he was sitting next to me when his chat came up so I saw it pop up.

Original post by OrangeTwo

When he gets back just tell him your mate saw him with a female friend. Them ask him politely who she was. Voila.

Unfortunately I can't do that as we live in different towns and I don't know anyone who lives there.

Reply 6

Tyrion_Lannister

19

What's the big deal? I have male friends, my boyfriend has female friends, no one throws bitch fits about it because we're not 15.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

What's the big deal? I have male friends, my boyfriend has female friends, no one throws bitch fits about it because we're not 15.

The big deal is that he didn't tell me about it. If he'd told me then I wouldn't have cared that he was meeting a female friend.

Reply 8

Gracekgs

1

You need to ask him about it. You cant just act as if you dont know and let it ear you up like it is now. Just tell him you saw the chat and ask him why he is meeting up with another girl and being secretive about it.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 9

Tyrion_Lannister

19

Original post by Anonymous

The big deal is that he didn't tell me about it. If he'd told me then I wouldn't have cared that he was meeting a female friend.

But he just didn't mention it? It's not like he said he was meeting a male friend and then went to meet a female friend. He probably just didn't think it was a big deal. Which it isn't.

Reply 10

LavenderBlueSky88

20

He probably didn't tell you cos he thought you'd go ape **** at him. He is just looking for the easiest way.

Reply 11

Blob :)

16

Maybe be didn't tell you because he didn't want you to make a big deal about it.
Maybe he's actually buying presents with her and didn't actually think it was important to mention who he's going out with.
Maybe he's buying you a surprise.
Maybe he's actually gone to get presents but is meeting her along the way.

Tbh I don't think you should worry about it that much :smile:

just ask him when he comes back 'oh how's that friend of yours you were meeting' and say how you saw it when he was on chat. :smile:

Sometimes some things slip people's mind or we don't think it's that important to mention. Tbh, I never have and never will ask my boyfriend to tell me who he's going out with or who are his female friends as as long as its not midnight or sth and he's staying over.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 12

Swanbow

19

Communication. If you are bothered about this tell him. Without proper communication and trust all relationships will die. Just mention to him that you know he was going to meet this girl and ask why he didn't mention it.

Reply 13

joker12345

19

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

But he just didn't mention it? It's not like he said he was meeting a male friend and then went to meet a female friend. He probably just didn't think it was a big deal. Which it isn't.

Because what he said seems to imply he's going out alone. If he said he said meeting a friend but didn't mention gender, your comment would be applicable. In this situation, it seems a little deceptive.

Reply 14

joker12345

19

Just ask him how it was, what did he do etc. If he mentions meeting her then it may have just slipped his kind or something. If not, it's time to get suspicious ...

Reply 15

Tyrion_Lannister

19

Original post by joker12345

Because what he said seems to imply he's going out alone. If he said he said meeting a friend but didn't mention gender, your comment would be applicable. In this situation, it seems a little deceptive.

I guess I wouldn't think anything of it, to me it seems very innocent. I wouldn't necessarily think to mention it. Not because I'm hiding it, just wouldn't cross my mind

Reply 16

Journeyzap

11

Maybe he's buying the presents with her, and he is using her for her opinion?

Reply 17

doctordee

Original post by Tyrion_Lannister

But he just didn't mention it? It's not like he said he was meeting a male friend and then went to meet a female friend. He probably just didn't think it was a big deal. Which it isn't.