This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Guy called me 'ugly' and 'fat' and verbally abused me

Ok so it started last weekend when me and two of my best friends went clubbing. I have been generally aware that when we go out they get all the attention from the guys (they're thin, exotic looking basically they look like models and they're size 8, I'm a size 12 and much plainer looking in comparison though up until now I wouldn't have said I was 'ugly'). As we are about to leave, my friend who is in a relationship is approached by this guy who literally picks her up and swings her around amongst other things and starts talking to her. He follows us out of the club and while my second friend gets a taxi home (she lives further away than we do) i go back with my friend as she's in a relationship and i know she would regret it so much if that guy did anything with her. We are at her flat with the guy who refuses to leave and keeps touching my friend and tries to kiss her while jokingly saying 'I don't think your friend likes me' in relation to me, laughing at me. So i finally pull the guy off my friend shouting 'LOOK SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND GET OFF HER AND ****ING GET LOST!!' Then the guy starts saying stuff to me like 'I don't need to be told by a fat ugly ***ch what to do? Look at you, your friends are both hotter than you while you look like a fat piece of **it no wonder no guy wants you because you're a frigid uptight heffer!' etc and a lot of worse stuff before finally leaving. My friend took me home and I was in tears. Since that night I have felt so crap about myself :frown:

like it drilled into me how every time i go out with my friends boys drool over them and I've seen the same guys look at me and shake their heads. I know I'm pale, plainer looking and a size 12 but I never thought of myself as 'fat' and 'unattractive' until now. Now I feel worthless :frown:

Can anyone help me out? How do i get over this?

Reply 1

samina_ay

18

you don't need a man's approval huni, it looks as if you were comfortable in your own skin before he said those harsh words. He only got angry because you pulled him off your friend... you did the right thing, don't beat yourself up about it :biggrin:

and size 12 isn't fat xx

Reply 2

Maggie_O

13

Original post by Anonymous

Ok so it started last weekend when me and two of my best friends went clubbing. I have been generally aware that when we go out they get all the attention from the guys (they're thin, exotic looking basically they look like models and they're size 8, I'm a size 12 and much plainer looking in comparison though up until now I wouldn't have said I was 'ugly' :wink:

. As we are about to leave, my friend who is in a relationship is approached by this guy who literally picks her up and swings her around amongst other things and starts talking to her. He follows us out of the club and while my second friend gets a taxi home (she lives further away than we do) i go back with my friend as she's in a relationship and i know she would regret it so much if that guy did anything with her. We are at her flat with the guy who refuses to leave and keeps touching my friend and tries to kiss her while jokingly saying 'I don't think your friend likes me' in relation to me, laughing at me. So i finally pull the guy off my friend shouting 'LOOK SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND GET OFF HER AND ****ING GET LOST!!' Then the guy starts saying stuff to me like 'I don't need to be told by a fat ugly ***ch what to do? Look at you, your friends are both hotter than you while you look like a fat piece of **it no wonder no guy wants you because you're a frigid uptight heffer!' etc and a lot of worse stuff before finally leaving. My friend took me home and I was in tears. Since that night I have felt so crap about myself :frown:

like it drilled into me how every time i go out with my friends boys drool over them and I've seen the same guys look at me and shake their heads. I know I'm pale, plainer looking and a size 12 but I never thought of myself as 'fat' and 'unattractive' until now. Now I feel worthless :frown:

Can anyone help me out? How do i get over this?

Ok he went in deep with the insults but you did swear at him and you even CAPS so it must've been that loud, although...you were intervening for your friend, which is great. So he knee-jerk...was a jerk...and said those things to you but I beg you please do not let some drunk ass circle make you think badly of yourself!

Reply 3

banterboy

13

Basically, you've spent the whole evening trying to ruin his game and then explode at him in a really over the top manner and expect him not to reply? Never heard of 12 being fat though; basically he has to say worse stuff to you.

Reply 4

valkyrie-grey

11

Gah, people can be such dicks! I'm sorry you had to deal with that :/ I've had a similar thing happen to me and to begin with I felt really sad and upset by it but afterwards I got a bit angry for feeling that way. I mean like the other post said, he was clearly annoyed that you pulled him off your friend and therefore his instant reaction was to insult you because he felt embarrassed. Size 12 isn't fat, not that it would be okay for anyone to bring up someone's weight as a means to insult them or undermine their confidence. I know it's probably difficult but don't feel worthless. You shouldn't even consider his opinion as he's a right tosspot. What matters is you did the right thing, nothing is wrong with you and you don't need to concern yourself with people like that.

Reply 5

saeed97

5

Lose some weight then you'd lose the 'fat' tag and will only be referred to as 'ugly'. Progress my friend.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 6

Maggie_O

13

Original post by saeed97

Lose some wait then you'd lose the 'fat' tag and will only be referred to as 'ugly'. Progress my friend.

*weight...my friend. :wink:

Reply 7

troubadour.

19

Original post by Anonymous

Ok so it started last weekend when me and two of my best friends went clubbing. I have been generally aware that when we go out they get all the attention from the guys (they're thin, exotic looking basically they look like models and they're size 8, I'm a size 12 and much plainer looking in comparison though up until now I wouldn't have said I was 'ugly'). As we are about to leave, my friend who is in a relationship is approached by this guy who literally picks her up and swings her around amongst other things and starts talking to her. He follows us out of the club and while my second friend gets a taxi home (she lives further away than we do) i go back with my friend as she's in a relationship and i know she would regret it so much if that guy did anything with her. We are at her flat with the guy who refuses to leave and keeps touching my friend and tries to kiss her while jokingly saying 'I don't think your friend likes me' in relation to me, laughing at me. So i finally pull the guy off my friend shouting 'LOOK SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND GET OFF HER AND ****ING GET LOST!!' Then the guy starts saying stuff to me like 'I don't need to be told by a fat ugly ***ch what to do? Look at you, your friends are both hotter than you while you look like a fat piece of **it no wonder no guy wants you because you're a frigid uptight heffer!' etc and a lot of worse stuff before finally leaving. My friend took me home and I was in tears. Since that night I have felt so crap about myself :frown:

like it drilled into me how every time i go out with my friends boys drool over them and I've seen the same guys look at me and shake their heads. I know I'm pale, plainer looking and a size 12 but I never thought of myself as 'fat' and 'unattractive' until now. Now I feel worthless :frown:

Can anyone help me out? How do i get over this?

It's unacceptable behaviour on the guy's part. However, I do think that you were out of your place trying to interfere with your friend's interaction with him. Unless there was serious evidence that he was doing something with her against her will, you really had no right to be there. If she wants to do stuff with him despite having a boyfriend, that's her mistake to make.

Other than that, I'd just say try to forget about it. It may be easier said than done, but rude people exist and there's little anybody can do about it but avoid them. Verbal abuse is, after all, not exactly a well-defined offence in law and, for that reason, you couldn't possibly take any action against him.

Reply 8

saeed97

5

Original post by Maggie_O

*weight...my friend. :wink:

Thanks for the correction

Reply 9

CCC75

16

OP, don't let this fool undermine your self esteem. He was in a rage after his pulling attempt was thwarted and lashed out in full fury.

I would ask though, why are you the guardian of your friends sanctity? Was she drunk and unable to speak up for herself? If you had not intervened, was she game to have this dude in her flat? I think you should only give help where it is required as it sounds as if you came out worst for trying to be helpful.