is my boyfriend emotionally abusive?

I agree with all of the above posts. Plus you need to know that:

He's treating you that way because you are letting him treat you that way. He clearly does not respect you (treating you like you are less equal to him) because you don't respect yourself. You said you don't deserve any better but you do!

Even if you do continue into marraige, and then have kids. If he is constany leaving and coming back, do you know how difficult that will be for your kids? You may be able to handle it, but they probably will feel rejected and not worthy enough for their father's love.

Even if you do not want/ cannot have kids, there will be times in your adult life where you will need emotional support. This could be bereavement or some awful injury or work stress, anything! Surely you would rather a man that would definitely support you, than a potentially cold one who may end up saying 'thats your problem not mine' or something?

You say you don't feel like you will ever find a better man. This is true if you remain 'taken' by your current partner. You need to make yourself single and available because many people resist attraction from girls who are in relationships. Has your bf ever made snide comments about how you are so lucky to have him and that no one else will want you? If so, he is wrong.

I know what you are going through is hard, especially as you love him. But he knows he has you wrapped around his little finger. Prove him wrong.

Broke up with you just before clubbing? He wanted a night out as a single man, and I bet 100% that he'll get back with you this morning.


Yes, this is emotional abuse. My suggestion; get out before it's too difficult to leave. But somehow I don't think you're going to do that.

I just want to add my voice to the many who are calling this emotional abuse. Like others here I had a relationship like this myself, with a guy who would use breaking up with me and cancelling plans as a punishment to try to control my behaviour. He lapped up my distress and the attention I gave the situation, and then would "give me another chance" when that got boring and he felt he'd made his point, only to break up with me again within hours or days. In between these times, he treated me like the love of his life.

He was a very insecure, unhappy man who felt like the only way he could keep me was by stamping me into the ground until I didn't feel that I was worth anybody else's love, and making me think that I was lucky he would even look at me. He would blatantly flirt with girls in front of me to prove how easily he could get someone else, then tell me I was lucky he had chosen me. He even cheated on me and then told me I should appreciate that he then chose to come back to me instead of going off with her. Thank god, at that point I opened my eyes and finished it. (About time.)

I feel like a lot of this might ring true for you, OP. I hope you take on board what others and myself are saying, and kick this toxic jerk to the kerb.


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Sorry but don't ever get into a relationship. Men are not worth it. They are heartless creatures with never ending ego. Sorry if I'm generalising but that's I've learnt. There is only one man I know of who is actually a man.

Yes, go on, generalise all you want.

Speaks volumes about you and your personality.

(P.S. I hate uncalled-for cynicism; bad experiences with cynical people. And no, cynical isn't synonymous with realistic.)

We spoke about it last night, about how we need to sort our issues out if we want to have a family, and to his family is the most important thing so he agreed saying soon we'll have others relying on us..

The reason I feel I wont find someone better is because he honestly is crazy attractive and I know another guy like that wont look at me again, but despite his looks he wants things like a family and he goes on about how he's going to do everything to support me in every single way, and does make me feel like the most incredible girl so I feel like I just wont get all that again. Maybe someones gonna treat me well, but they wont have all these qualities he does..

But yes he did tell me I am lucky to have someone who puts up with how much of a pain i am..

We spoke about it last night, about how we need to sort our issues out if we want to have a family, and to his family is the most important thing so he agreed saying soon we'll have others relying on us..

The reason I feel I wont find someone better is because he honestly is crazy attractive and I know another guy like that wont look at me again, but despite his looks he wants things like a family and he goes on about how he's going to do everything to support me in every single way, and does make me feel like the most incredible girl so I feel like I just wont get all that again. Maybe someones gonna treat me well, but they wont have all these qualities he does..

But yes he did tell me I am lucky to have someone who puts up with how much of a pain i am..

Sorry but don't ever get into a relationship. Men are not worth it. They are heartless creatures with never ending ego. Sorry if I'm generalising but that's I've learnt. There is only one man I know of who is actually a man.

Sorry but don't ever get into a relationship. Men are not worth it. They are heartless creatures with never ending ego. Sorry if I'm generalising but that's I've learnt. There is only one man I know of who is actually a man.

But what do I do if I want to work it out with him if he broke up with me..again? It does feel like it's for good this time because he genuinely doesn't care. I thought it's over for good before but it wasn't. He always came back. And should I go ahead and go out with my friends? Or will that be pushing my luck in terms of getting him back?😕

Aren't you engaged?

But what do I do if I want to work it out with him if he broke up with me..again? It does feel like it's for good this time because he genuinely doesn't care. I thought it's over for good before but it wasn't. He always came back. And should I go ahead and go out with my friends? Or will that be pushing my luck in terms of getting him back?😕

We spoke about it last night, about how we need to sort our issues out if we want to have a family, and to his family is the most important thing so he agreed saying soon we'll have others relying on us..

The reason I feel I wont find someone better is because he honestly is crazy attractive and I know another guy like that wont look at me again, but despite his looks he wants things like a family and he goes on about how he's going to do everything to support me in every single way, and does make me feel like the most incredible girl so I feel like I just wont get all that again. Maybe someones gonna treat me well, but they wont have all these qualities he does..

But yes he did tell me I am lucky to have someone who puts up with how much of a pain i am..

Wow sooo much ignorance in this post.

Are you being serious?

Please tell me you're trolling?

Aren't you engaged?

Yes I'm being serious. Its solely based on my experience. I seriously believe that I'd rather have a happy single life than a married life or a life revolving relationships with men or anyone for that matter.

That's fair enough, everyone can make their own choice but don't judge every guy as made from the same mold. There are plenty of people in relationships who don't get into arguments at all, in the space of years. I've been in two of these. So it is possible for two people to co-exist. Not every guy is a jerk, and putting it out there that all men are egotistical dirtbags isn't solving anything for anyone, yourself included.