I want to take off hijab but don't know how to break it to family
I live at home and for a couple of years now I've been feeling very uncomfortable with wearing a hijab. I just don't feel I identify with it and it's point any more. But I don't know how to break it to my family and friends who would feel shocked, angry, ashamed or sad (especially my mum) if I took it off. I tried telling my best friend about "a cousin" who wanted to take it off and she basically replied with disgust and suspicion about motives and stuff and I didn't feel I could be honest with her about my views after that.
Does anyone have any experience of this or any advise? Thanks.
Does anyone have any experience of this or any advise? Thanks.
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Are you a Muslim and if so do you want to follow Islam properly?
Why do you not see the point of it?
I just don't feel I identify with it and it's point any more.
Why do you not see the point of it?
Original post by Anonymous
Does anyone have any experience of this or any advise? Thanks.
Does anyone have any experience of this or any advise? Thanks.
First of all, prepare for this thread to be bombarded by Moslems, some of whom will hide under anonymous (like the one above), who will attempt to convince you that Islam is right, that you must behave as they see a good Moslem behave, that you should respect what your parents say blah blah blah. Ignore them all and report their posts as spam so they can be removed.
If you are 18 or over then there is no question that you have the right to determine how you will dress and how (and if) you will follow your religion. I do understand the problems that overbearing, particularly Moslem, parents can be for a young person, though. You will need to be insistent, persistent, and prepared for big rows. Obviously, be very careful if your parents are very controlling and might get violent, and consider working towards leaving home before abandoning the hijab. They need to treat you as an adult who is integrated into western society, not as a chattel somewhere else.
If you are younger than 18 then I suggest you ring Childline and get some advice there, as you may be the subject of child abuse.
Original post by Anonymous
Are you a Muslim and if so do you want to follow Islam properly?
Since women aren't required to cover their head in the Koran, wearing the hijab has nothing to do with following Islam properly.
Original post by Josb
Since women aren't required to cover their head in the Koran, wearing the hijab has nothing to do with following Islam properly.
The conditions of hijaab:
Firstly:
(It should cover all the body apart from whatever has been exempted).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
This aayah clearly states that it is obligatory to cover all of a woman’s beauty and adornments and not to display any part of that before non-mahram men (“strangers”) except for whatever appears unintentionally, in which case there will be no sin on them if they hasten to cover it up.
https://islamqa.info/en/6991
Am I right in saying that you don't have to wear one as a muslim it is just an interpretation of Islam
Original post by Anonymous
I live at home and for a couple of years now I've been feeling very uncomfortable with wearing a hijab. I just don't feel I identify with it and it's point any more. But I don't know how to break it to my family and friends who would feel shocked, angry, ashamed or sad (especially my mum) if I took it off. I tried telling my best friend about "a cousin" who wanted to take it off and she basically replied with disgust and suspicion about motives and stuff and I didn't feel I could be honest with her about my views after that.Does anyone have any experience of this or any advise? Thanks.
Original post by Anonymous
The conditions of hijaab:
Firstly:
(It should cover all the body apart from whatever has been exempted).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
This aayah clearly states that it is obligatory to cover all of a woman’s beauty and adornments and not to display any part of that before non-mahram men (“strangers”) except for whatever appears unintentionally, in which case there will be no sin on them if they hasten to cover it up.
https://islamqa.info/en/6991
Firstly:
(It should cover all the body apart from whatever has been exempted).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
This aayah clearly states that it is obligatory to cover all of a woman’s beauty and adornments and not to display any part of that before non-mahram men (“strangers”) except for whatever appears unintentionally, in which case there will be no sin on them if they hasten to cover it up.
https://islamqa.info/en/6991
True, but this is interpreted differently by all Muslims. I know Muslim girls who don't wear any dressings and wear normal clothing, but are just a bit more formal/appropriate with their clothing e.g. don't wear short skirts or small blouses, wear trousers so they can cover legs etc.
This is the hijab though, not the niqab.
If it's the hijab you're talking about and not the niqab, you mean that you don't feel religious and you want to leave Islam.
If you've accidentally meant the niqab then this is one of those times someone starts a thread even though they're not in that situation and want to see reactions.
(edited 8 years ago)
Just ease out of it
Like rush out of the house one day without it. If your parents say something, say you didn't have time to put it on
Basically keep making excuses until they get the hint that you don't want to wear it anymore. If they try to force it back on you, say it's your choice and they have to respect that. Obviously a load of religious waffle will follow but just ignore them and don't wear it.
If they get abusive, call support services. Parents like such need to know that they have very little control over what you can do
Like rush out of the house one day without it. If your parents say something, say you didn't have time to put it on
Basically keep making excuses until they get the hint that you don't want to wear it anymore. If they try to force it back on you, say it's your choice and they have to respect that. Obviously a load of religious waffle will follow but just ignore them and don't wear it.
If they get abusive, call support services. Parents like such need to know that they have very little control over what you can do
Hijabs are vital for preserving the modesty of women - why would you want to take them off? Your family only wants the best for you, and that is by following the Koran.
I know it's a family matter and you're in a difficult position but no one has the right the tell you what to wear and it is completely your prerogative to take it off, your family shouldn't be getting upset over something so minor imo
Original post by Good bloke
First of all, prepare for this thread to be bombarded by Moslems, some of whom will hide under anonymous (like the one above), who will attempt to convince you that Islam is right, that you must behave as they see a good Moslem behave, that you should respect what your parents say blah blah blah. Ignore them all and report their posts as spam so they can be removed.
If you are 18 or over then there is no question that you have the right to determine how you will dress and how (and if) you will follow your religion. I do understand the problems that overbearing, particularly Moslem, parents can be for a young person, though. You will need to be insistent, persistent, and prepared for big rows. Obviously, be very careful if your parents are very controlling and might get violent, and consider working towards leaving home before abandoning the hijab. They need to treat you as an adult who is integrated into western society, not as a chattel somewhere else.
If you are younger than 18 then I suggest you ring Childline and get some advice there, as you may be the subject of child abuse.
If you are 18 or over then there is no question that you have the right to determine how you will dress and how (and if) you will follow your religion. I do understand the problems that overbearing, particularly Moslem, parents can be for a young person, though. You will need to be insistent, persistent, and prepared for big rows. Obviously, be very careful if your parents are very controlling and might get violent, and consider working towards leaving home before abandoning the hijab. They need to treat you as an adult who is integrated into western society, not as a chattel somewhere else.
If you are younger than 18 then I suggest you ring Childline and get some advice there, as you may be the subject of child abuse.
This is terrible advice op please dont listen to this guy who is acting if you're leaving islam or something.
Ask yourself first, why dont you feel like you dont identify with the hijab, do you get stares, dont you like the look of it?
Its a mark of your religion be proud of it
Original post by Anonymous
The conditions of hijaab:
Firstly:
(It should cover all the body apart from whatever has been exempted).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
https://islamqa.info/en/6991
Firstly:
(It should cover all the body apart from whatever has been exempted).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
https://islamqa.info/en/6991
There you go. By adding this 'i.e' that is probably the last thing that could be implied by the quote, scholars have twisted views and forced non-existent rules on people, especially women, for centuries.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
This is terrible advice op please dont listen to this guy who is acting if you're leaving islam or something.
On the contrary, I'm acting as if it is the OP's own decision as to how to follow Islam, not yours or her parents. If she wishes to be a Moslem that doesn't wear a head-covering then that is her prerogative. Many others don't either.
Original post by Anonymous
The conditions of hijaab:
Firstly:
(It should cover all the body apart from whatever has been exempted).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
This aayah clearly states that it is obligatory to cover all of a woman’s beauty and adornments and not to display any part of that before non-mahram men (“strangers”) except for whatever appears unintentionally, in which case there will be no sin on them if they hasten to cover it up.
https://islamqa.info/en/6991
Firstly:
(It should cover all the body apart from whatever has been exempted).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
This aayah clearly states that it is obligatory to cover all of a woman’s beauty and adornments and not to display any part of that before non-mahram men (“strangers”) except for whatever appears unintentionally, in which case there will be no sin on them if they hasten to cover it up.
https://islamqa.info/en/6991
Dear anonymous, you have provided an altered translation (into brackets) that only suits the agenda of the article's writer.
Among the translations given by this site: http://islamawakened.com/quran/24/31/ , only 8 on 29 (among the "generally accepted translation'' ) refer to "head-covering" - which may imply to cover the head too; the other translations say "veils" or "shawls", etc. that must cover the breasts, not head.
None of these translations explicitly says that women should cover their head.
Spoiler
(edited 8 years ago)
It is evident that there is demonisation of Islam going on the western media at the moment which is trickling down to certain members of society. This is very unfortunate in my view.
The hijab is a cultural item of dress pertaining to a culture under persecution. I understand that it must be very challenging for anyone who belongs in any way to this culture right now.
I don't have any direct experience of this but I do have some advice: to be faithful to what feels true deep down for you AND to be pragmatic about it if possible. For instance, if you decide that for you on your own you have no desire to wear the hijab perhaps the root of least resistance would be to wait until you no longer live with your parents stop wearing it?
The hijab is a cultural item of dress pertaining to a culture under persecution. I understand that it must be very challenging for anyone who belongs in any way to this culture right now.
I don't have any direct experience of this but I do have some advice: to be faithful to what feels true deep down for you AND to be pragmatic about it if possible. For instance, if you decide that for you on your own you have no desire to wear the hijab perhaps the root of least resistance would be to wait until you no longer live with your parents stop wearing it?
Original post by Des_Lumières
It is evident that there is demonisation of Islam going on the western media at the moment which is trickling down to certain members of society. This is very unfortunate in my view.
The hijab is a cultural item of dress pertaining to a culture under persecution. I understand that it must be very challenging for anyone who belongs in any way to this culture right now.
I don't have any direct experience of this but I do have some advice: to be faithful to what feels true deep down for you AND to be pragmatic about it if possible. For instance, if you decide that for you on your own you have no desire to wear the hijab perhaps the root of least resistance would be to wait until you no longer live with your parents stop wearing it?
The hijab is a cultural item of dress pertaining to a culture under persecution. I understand that it must be very challenging for anyone who belongs in any way to this culture right now.
I don't have any direct experience of this but I do have some advice: to be faithful to what feels true deep down for you AND to be pragmatic about it if possible. For instance, if you decide that for you on your own you have no desire to wear the hijab perhaps the root of least resistance would be to wait until you no longer live with your parents stop wearing it?
"Demonisation of Islam in Western media"
"a culture under persecution"
Original post by DMcGovern
This is the hijab though, not the niqab.
If it's the hijab you're talking about and not the niqab, you mean that you don't feel religious and you want to leave Islam.
If it's the hijab you're talking about and not the niqab, you mean that you don't feel religious and you want to leave Islam.
This just shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what the hijab is. The niqab is part of the hijab (even men have their own hijab rules!)
Original post by Serine Soul
There you go. By adding this 'i.e' that is probably the last thing that could be implied by the quote, scholars have twisted views and forced non-existent rules on people, especially women, for centuries.
Original post by Josb
Dear anonymous, you have provided an altered translation (into brackets) that only suits the agenda of the article's writer.
Wrong wrong wrong, not only does the Quran mention the hijab but the Ahadith explain it and cement the rule as clear as day:
It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: May Allaah have mercy on the women of the early muhaajireen. When Allaah revealed the words “and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms)”, they tore their aprons and covered their faces with them. Narrated by al-Bukhaari in a mu’allaq report and by Abu Dawood (4102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Original post by Anonymous
Hijabs are vital for preserving the modesty of women - why would you want to take them off? Your family only wants the best for you, and that is by following the Koran.
I find this hilarious coming from someone under anon. If that's the belief you have then say it loud and proud.
And she doesn't have to wear the hijab if she doesn't want to. Sometimes parents are wrong, no matter how religious they are.
You can be modest in many other ways instead of covering your hair.OP doesn't have to cover herself based on some book written hundreds of years ago.
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