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i sometimes feel angry with myself because when she was first diagnosed i only cried for five minutes and after that i have just felt numb and i dont think im even sad or anything
has anyone got any advice for when people ask me if my mum is ok because i just tell everyone she is alrite even though its a lie
Original post by tilliesm
i sometimes feel angry with myself because when she was first diagnosed i only cried for five minutes and after that i have just felt numb and i dont think im even sad or anything


Firstly, I'm sorry that you and your family are going through this. It's a horrible thing to happen

Different people react differently, there's no right or wrong way to feel

Original post by tilliesm
has anyone got any advice for when people ask me if my mum is ok because i just tell everyone she is alrite even though its a lie


It's whatever you feel comfortable with, so it may depend on who it is. You could tell them the truth - that she has just finished her treatment and you will need to go back to see the doctor again in January to see how she is. Of course, you may also talk about how she is emotionally, if you feel comfortable with that too. Sometimes it's just easier to mention the facts
Original post by Anonymous
Firstly, I'm sorry that you and your family are going through this. It's a horrible thing to happen

Different people react differently, there's no right or wrong way to feel



It's whatever you feel comfortable with, so it may depend on who it is. You could tell them the truth - that she has just finished her treatment and you will need to go back to see the doctor again in January to see how she is. Of course, you may also talk about how she is emotionally, if you feel comfortable with that too. Sometimes it's just easier to mention the facts
thanks for the advice :smile:
Original post by tilliesm
my mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer on motheres day she has had her operation and has just finished her chemo early, shes having a checkup to see if its gone in janurary


Hope it's good news for you both :hugs:

Original post by tilliesm
i sometimes feel angry with myself because when she was first diagnosed i only cried for five minutes and after that i have just felt numb and i dont think im even sad or anything


I expect this isn't such an uncommon reaction - it's horrible news, but you have to get on with things and with helping her, and maybe you just pushed that emotion aside whilst you were handling all that?

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I had blood in my stool it wasn't a small amount either.... I am only 13 and have been stupidly googling it and now I am convinced I have something serious like cancer. Do I need to go to A&E or book a doctor's appointment. my stomach also keeps rumbling help please I am getting really upset sorry if this sounds ridiculous
Original post by Anonymous
I had blood in my stool it wasn't a small amount either.... I am only 13 and have been stupidly googling it and now I am convinced I have something serious like cancer. Do I need to go to A&E or book a doctor's appointment. my stomach also keeps rumbling help please I am getting really upset sorry if this sounds ridiculous


Call 111.
Original post by Pathway
Call 111.

now? I am only 13
Original post by Anonymous
I had blood in my stool it wasn't a small amount either.... I am only 13 and have been stupidly googling it and now I am convinced I have something serious like cancer. Do I need to go to A&E or book a doctor's appointment. my stomach also keeps rumbling help please I am getting really upset sorry if this sounds ridiculous

As above call 111 (you could wait til tomorrow) or make an app with the GP. It's better to go and it be nothing than any alternatives (even if it's piles or something)
Original post by Anonymous
As above call 111 (you could wait til tomorrow) or make an app with the GP. It's better to go and it be nothing than any alternatives (even if it's piles or something)

thanks. I've calmed down a bit now and realized how silly I sound. I'll be sure to book a gp appointment soon. thank you all sorry for being so dramatic aha
Original post by Anonymous
I had blood in my stool it wasn't a small amount either.... I am only 13 and have been stupidly googling it and now I am convinced I have something serious like cancer. Do I need to go to A&E or book a doctor's appointment. my stomach also keeps rumbling help please I am getting really upset sorry if this sounds ridiculous

Go to the doctors tomorrow at the GP and tell them it’s an emergency and explain your situation. They’ll do a blood test to check your inflammatory markers and if it’s high, they’ll refer you to the hospital and they’ll do the tests there. I know from experience as I went through this when I was 9
Original post by Nadia19962
Go to the doctors tomorrow at the GP and tell them it’s an emergency and explain your situation. They’ll do a blood test to check your inflammatory markers and if it’s high, they’ll refer you to the hospital and they’ll do the tests there. I know from experience as I went through this when I was 9

what happened?
Hi guys I kinda need some advice, Recently my nan got diagnosed with late stage cancer and I don't know what to do, my mum and brother have previously had it and I didn't deal with it very well. The thing is exams in Jan (first year of uni) and I haven't been able to revise at all and I don't know what to do. Sometimes I'm fine sometimes I just lose it I can't even imagine going back to uni rn what can i do? Thanks
Original post by Anonymous
so sorry you are going through this,I'm sure you will get a lot of wonderful answers from this brave group! I am really bad at giving advice so wont but if you ever need to talk to someone feel free to pm me!

i meant to put pm someone here but accident put me sorry
Original post by Anonymous
Hi guys I kinda need some advice, Recently my nan got diagnosed with late stage cancer and I don't know what to do, my mum and brother have previously had it and I didn't deal with it very well. The thing is exams in Jan (first year of uni) and I haven't been able to revise at all and I don't know what to do. Sometimes I'm fine sometimes I just lose it I can't even imagine going back to uni rn what can i do? Thanks


Hi there,sorry to hear your news my grandad has stage 3 cancer (and i lost my other grandad to it 5 years ago amongst other family losses and illness) and i know how tricky it is to try and carry on at times, it's completely normal to feel okay sometimes and struggle the next. If there's anyone still at your uni then let them know if you can and apply for extenuating circumstances for your exams.
Thanks guys, I just feel like i haven't stopped been too from hosp watching brothers it hasn't sunk in and I don't even want to go back to uni I just want to look after her, doesn't help that my step dad is also getting investigated for cancer too (having investigation tomorrow) but I'm scared my uni won't be very understanding about it all
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks guys, I just feel like i haven't stopped been too from hosp watching brothers it hasn't sunk in and I don't even want to go back to uni I just want to look after her, doesn't help that my step dad is also getting investigated for cancer too (having investigation tomorrow) but I'm scared my uni won't be very understanding about it all


Making solid decisions when you're grieving is not ideal but if it comes to it, most universities would let you pause your course and start again at the same time next year if thats what you want to do . Your university could be very understanding, you won't know till you contact them, hopefully your step dad gets good news.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks guys, I just feel like i haven't stopped been too from hosp watching brothers it hasn't sunk in and I don't even want to go back to uni I just want to look after her, doesn't help that my step dad is also getting investigated for cancer too (having investigation tomorrow) but I'm scared my uni won't be very understanding about it all


You should be able to access counselling from either Macmillan or your university. :console:
My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer today. It's the first instance of cancer in my family and I'm a little unsure how to feel. She said that the doctor told her it was treatable with surgery and she's going for an MRI scan on tuesday to see what sort of surgery she needs. I don't know what stage cancer it is, or how long the treatment will take or if there will be complications... I'm a bit of a worrier anyway. I also have 3 university assignment deadlines next thursday which I'm worried I won't meet. Do you think this is a valid extenuating circumstance?
Original post by LunaLovegood2508
My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer today. It's the first instance of cancer in my family and I'm a little unsure how to feel. She said that the doctor told her it was treatable with surgery and she's going for an MRI scan on tuesday to see what sort of surgery she needs. I don't know what stage cancer it is, or how long the treatment will take or if there will be complications... I'm a bit of a worrier anyway. I also have 3 university assignment deadlines next thursday which I'm worried I won't meet. Do you think this is a valid extenuating circumstance?


Yes. I got to redo an exam due in part because of my mum's breast cancer diagnosis (although I also lost one of my best friends to suicide a week after I found out about my mum's cancer and was also quite ill when I sat the exam). They caught her cancer early, but it was aggressive, so she had two surgeries and had a round of radiotherapy. She also takes tamoxifen to prevent it coming back, she is still in remission now (she was diagnosed in 2015). If you need to chat you're welcome to message me.

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