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Should she let her wealthy man take care of her? watch

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    (Original post by ripellino)
    A friend of mine who is currently studying for a masters degree has been seeing a fairly well known, wealthy sportsman. He is a few years older than her and has an ex and a couple of kids. My friend is not at all your typical wag, not in the slightest. She is very pretty, short, pale, a bit chubby, long dark hair and doesn't wear make up or trendy clothes but is quite arty in her style of dress. They met at a gallery opening in London last spring and while she resisted him at first he chased after her, turning up at her uni in a flash car, sending gifts the whole shebang. She ended up relenting and going for dinner with him and they have been seeing each other ever since. Over the summer she worked part time and wasn't studying but now she is back at uni and still working part time he is moaning because he can't see her as often as he is away a lot with his work.
    He wants her to give up her job and he will give her all the money she needs. He has already attempted to give her large cash gifts.
    We are old friends and she has asked my advice, I did meet him once over the summer and I felt that he was sincere in his interest and feelings for her and he has asked her to move in with him, even mentioned marriage so perhaps she should take up his offer of finacial help?
    She is worried that she will be too dependent on him and worries that he might suddenly lose interest. She keeps trying to show him that if they really like each other then it's not about money and gifts but about how they feel about each other. She feels it is way too soon to move in but he seems a bit lost and just wants her around all the time.

    I really don't know what to say to her, partly I think this guy is minted and crazy about you GO FOR IT! Another part of me thinks that she needs to take it slow, what do you think?
    She's right. Also, it sounds like she wouldn't look twice at him if he wasn't rich and famous. She should stay with him but not sacrifice everything she has to be with him, that's just silly.
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    Big mistake. She needs graduate and be able to financially support herself until making the big move. Tell her to put aside emotion for a minute, and look at the situation logically - what could happen if she moved in and became dependant on him?
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    It would be too risky of her to ditch her university and depend on him this early in the relationship. He could drop her with no warning and she would be out university/job prospects AND his money, which would be horrible. I would recommend that she finish uni first... it would be horrible if she was dropped and left with nothing. If he isn't willing to wait a year or two for her to finish up, who knows what would happen.
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    I would push her to get married to him asap.
    He dies/they get divorced=bingo bring in the money.
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    Is it Tiger Woods? :cool:
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    (Original post by Stella476)
    It would be too risky of her to ditch her university and depend on him this early in the relationship. He could drop her with no warning and she would be out university/job prospects AND his money, which would be horrible. I would recommend that she finish uni first... it would be horrible if she was dropped and left with nothing. If he isn't willing to wait a year or two for her to finish up, who knows what would happen.
    He's asking her to give up part-time work, not university.

    Personally, I would still say no. I think when you've been together for a long time and it's really necessary, it's fine for one partner to support the other (e.g. when my stepdad was setting up a new business, mum was earning all the money) but this early on in the relationship I think depending on someone else financially is just too risky. She needs to explain to her boyfriend that she wants to maintain her independence and that they will just have to find time to see each other when she's not studying/working (surely if he's a sportsman he's somewhat busy too, you know, competing and training and whatnot?) which is what normal couples do. I think when you become rich and famous you begin to get the mindset that you can just throw money at any troubles that arise and they will go away- that's not a healthy way to live life.
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    Never become fully dependant on a man, financially or otherwise. Let him help you out once in a while, but always have your plan B and independance.
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    (Original post by Lozza_00)
    She's right. Also, it sounds like she wouldn't look twice at him if he wasn't rich and famous. She should stay with him but not sacrifice everything she has to be with him, that's just silly.
    I don't think that's true, she was more wary of getting involved with him because he was rich and famous. I think he's been a pleasent surprise to her but he seems to be moving very fast talking about moving in and marriage.
 
 
 
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