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Boyfriend got fat. Don't fancy him
I need some advice. Over the last 3 months or so my boyfriend of 1year has put on a significant amount of weight. He wasn't exactly skinny to start with but now he is noticeably overweight. I'm finding it very hard to be attracted to him especially since I value health and exercise very highly and like people who take care of their bodies. It wouldn't be so bad but he doesn't seem bothered by it and is making no attempts to get back in shape, he lives off takeaways and ready meals and does no exercise. I don't want to break up with him over something so shallow but we haven't had sex in months because I am pretty much repulsed by him.
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Original post by joey11223
...and you have tactfully told him your concerns right?
I've tried but he either gets really defensive or makes it into a joke.
Original post by ddaappoo
jheez, why be in a relationship without any communication? (no offence)
talk to him about it! he is your bf
talk to him about it! he is your bf
I have! (see my reply above) he also says that no one is perfect and that I've got my flaws too which is true. It's hard to say it without being directly insulting.
You shouldn't really be putting photos of your boyfriend up on here like this. My advice would be to try to talk to him. he may make it into a joke but I'm sure if you made it clear you were serious he'd listen. It's not shallow to be concerned about somebody you love's health.
Why are you so worried about offending him? If you don't want to be with him anymore then why stay with him out of pitty and an equally self interested sense of not wanting to come across as shallow. What are you going to do, marry someone you no longer are attracted to and perhaps no longer love and end up loathing simply because you are scared you might hurt his feeling. C'mon!!!!!
Original post by joey11223
woah got to say that is a bigger transformation than I assumed, I'm guessing he may have put on several stone?
Just to clarify, those pictures were not posted by me. That's not my boyfriend!
Original post by Anonymous
Just to clarify, those pictures were not posted by me. That's not my boyfriend!
Yeah I just clarified that too, I added it in capitals to my post just there. Want me to delete them? It was just so I could show you that it happened in my relationship too.
I deleted the pics, would have made the post more confusing anyway lol
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Just to clarify, those pictures were not posted by me. That's not my boyfriend!
Oh right sorry haha.
Well could you do the classic thing of suggesting you two go jogging together or the gym?
How do you actually turn him down for sex also how old are you both. I would just be honest and say that you would prefer it if he lost weight.
Original post by Guy Secretan
How do you actually turn him down for sex also how old are you both. I would just be honest and say that you would prefer it if he lost weight.
I just say I'm not in the mood or somehow avoid it, he's pretty much stopped trying now! He's 23 I'm 22.
Break up. It'll give him a reality check and motivate him into losing weight.
Original post by Anonymous
I need some advice. Over the last 3 months or so my boyfriend of 1year has put on a significant amount of weight. He wasn't exactly skinny to start with but now he is noticeably overweight. I'm finding it very hard to be attracted to him especially since I value health and exercise very highly and like people who take care of their bodies. It wouldn't be so bad but he doesn't seem bothered by it and is making no attempts to get back in shape, he lives off takeaways and ready meals and does no exercise. I don't want to break up with him over something so shallow but we haven't had sex in months because I am pretty much repulsed by him.
Obviously physical attraction is a factor in relationships so I never accuse people of being shallow. But, from personal experience gluttony is often an expression of some deep rooted problem. So... my thought is that that may be what has caused the loss of libido in his part and the strain on your relationship as opposed to the weightgain.
What has been his response when you've spoken to him?
Original post by Anonymous
I've tried but he either gets really defensive or makes it into a joke.
You could be less than tactful. Most guys with a sense of ego will run through fire to keep a girl having sex with him.
however you say hes stopped trying on which case hes probably getting into a vicious cycle. Its utterly horrible knowing your partner isnt attracted to you (and he probably knows you are not) and so he could be eating as a comfort thing. Which maes you not attracted to him.
(edited 10 years ago)
if i got super skinny i'd expect whatever girl im with to break up with me
same goes if a girl i was seeign got fat i'd move on
if someone can't look after themselves how can you expect them to look after other people?
same goes if a girl i was seeign got fat i'd move on
if someone can't look after themselves how can you expect them to look after other people?
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