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I no longer want to wear the hijab.

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Reply 80
They're your family, do you really thiink they'd kick you out because you stopped wearing a rag over your head to appease an imaginary friend? :smile:
Original post by Mo_maths
. A female who conceals her beauty has granted herself the power to say to the world "You know what? Everything about me besides my beauty should matter to you." If wearing miniskirts, low-cut tops, head- turning heels, and layers of makeup in public is the expectation without which a woman in incapable of stepping outside her house, then we have two very different definitions of liberty and self-respect.

All human beings demand respect, and why should we women be treated as mere objects valued or devalued for our beauty or the lack thereof? Why should we let all random and strange men (whether we are friends with them or not) be the judges of our attractiveness? Shouldn't we preserve ourselves for only those who deserve us?

And that is why Muslim women observe the Hijab.


What you do not seem to realise is hat women can have all of this without the hijab

Many women dress exactly how they wish ... None of my daughters friends dress in the way you describe

You are correct that there are lots of women who have to fid their self respect in the approval of others and hat this is bad

But you are wrong if you think covering oneself up is the only alternative
Original post by Mo_maths
No one is enforcing anything. Islam is a religion based on love and compassion, which calls for peace and fosters a life in absolute sincerity and honesty before Allah. Therefore it is vitally important for the one to live by the religion of Islam to be a Muslim with his own will and aspiration and observe Allah’s commands and advise from heart and soul through personal conscientious contentment.


There is no compulsion where the religion is concerned. Right guidance has become clearly distinct from error. Anyone who rejects false deities and believes in Allah has grasped the Firmest Handhold, which will never give way. Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing. (Surat al-Baqara, 256)


No one apart from the families that beat, lock up, disown, even kill their daughters

This may not be Islam but it is done in the name of Islam .... Look to your own community if you want women to be free to make decisions for themselves
Reply 83
Original post by Mo_maths
No one is enforcing anything. Islam is a religion based on love and compassion, which calls for peace and fosters a life in absolute sincerity and honesty before Allah. Therefore it is vitally important for the one to live by the religion of Islam to be a Muslim with his own will and aspiration and observe Allah’s commands and advise from heart and soul through personal conscientious contentment.


There is no compulsion where the religion is concerned. Right guidance has become clearly distinct from error. Anyone who rejects false deities and believes in Allah has grasped the Firmest Handhold, which will never give way. Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing. (Surat al-Baqara, 256)


Yes, except wearing hijab is considered to be the correct thing to do and women are only seen as following "Islam" if they wear it. Covering your body is fine, but when it's demanded or prescribed by anybody else, including a "god", then it becomes oppression.

If hijab really was a choice in Islam, we wouldn't have so many stories of women wanting to take it off.


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Reply 84
To the people above:

When we are discussing hijab, it might come to one’s mind that it’s a kind of marginalization of women, who have to preserve their beauty away from the eyes of all the people except the woman’s husband or some chosen ones of her relatives. But is it really true that hijab causes women to be belittled or marginalized? To be able to answer this question we may look at the advantages of its wearing for both women and society.

Research shows that one of its most important advantages is ‘the security of the society’ that clears it from crimes, rape, incest, harassment in daily life, etc. The other important advantage is for the woman herself who is used to sell her body as if she is a kind of goods that have particular price, not as a woman who has enormous feelings, dignity, and special social status. So, looking only at these two advantages affirms the idea that by taking off their hijab, women become belittled and marginalized, and social crimes are really caused removing it. In other simple words, women have got rid of the cause of their safety.

This is in short an idea about the importance of hijab to both women and the society.

It is the general consensus among the Muslims that a Muslim woman is required to cover her head leaving only her face showing as part of an overall dress code and behaviour which Islam prescribes. It is therefore part of the social system of Islam, and a manifestation of important general Islamic principles. Firstly, an educated Muslim woman does this because she is following guidance from God and His prophet Muhammad recorded in the Qur'an,and in the Sunnah (the knowledge about the practice and example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)). For example, one translation of the meaning of the specific ayat (verse)of Qur'an that mentions the head covering is as follows:

Surah 24 Al-Nur (The Light); ayat 31 (part of)

And say to the believing women......that they should draw their head-coverings over the neck opening (of their dresses) , and not display their ornaments except to their husbands, their fathers.....(etc)

This guidance she regards, as by definition a Muslim should do, as being revealed by the 'All-Knowing' the 'Most Wise', The 'Most Merciful', 'All-Mighty' God who created all human beings and whose Power controls everything. She is doing it because she believes that God with His nature knows best what is in the true best interests of human beings, far more than a human can know, with his or her fallibility, and weaknesses.

The main principle reason for the hijab is modesty, which is not wishing to receive unnecessary attention from people, such as admiration and flattery, envy, or, most importantly, sexual attraction from those other than her husband.Great care is taken to keep sexual thoughts, feelings and interactions to within the boundaries of the marital relationship.

These types of attention may boost the 'ego' for the short term, but all have the potential to lead to disastrous consequences in the long term, for example leading to confused feelings, competition, suspicions, affairs, break-up of marriages and other relationships, disturbed children, and ultimately a community where people are insecure,unhappy, and divided amongst themselves.

From this it can be seen that the hijab is a manifestation of another important principle in Islam, which is valuing benefits which are permanent above those which are temporary. What is permanently beneficial is, for example, a happy marriage between two people who aim to learn, teach and apply Islam to the best of their ability in their lives. This is seen as that which brings about the true happiness of the soul for eternity, by purifying and keeping it in its pure, natural, God-created state, filling it with peace and contentment, patience, gratefulness, love and compassion. What is temporary are the momentary pleasures derived from, for example, people's opinions of you, leading to your own self-satisfaction, or, even more basically, those derived from physical sensations.

A strong marriage, and a peaceful, cooperative, happy community, where people's feelings towards one another are good, will not only provide the true happiness that the soul needs, but also, in moderation, the good opinion, physical, and other pleasures that the ego requires.

Therefore, the freedom and benefit of the soul is encouraged, requiring a corresponding disciplining and moderating of the ego, but not a total denial or repression of it.

Besides following modest dress codes appropriate to the different natures of a man and woman, both Muslim men and women should abide by a certain modest and respectful code of conduct when interacting with the opposite sex.
Reply 85
#Atheism #Dawkins #Questionmore.
Reply 86
Go on girl, let your hair down lol
Original post by bluebell100
To understand why we wear the hijab, we need to understand ultimate foundation of what it means to be a Muslim. To be a Muslim means to believe in only one God (the same God of Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad (peace be upon them)) and obey him. This would mean living our lives in a way which pleases God. The hijab is a commandment from God and that is the ultimate reason for wearing it.

We believe the one who created us knows what's good for us and it's only for our benefit to try our best to please him. The hijab is a commandment from Allah (swt). At the end of the day, to follow the commandments of Islam is only for our benefit. It won't affect Allah (swt) in any way whether we obey him or not. It's for your own benefit to please him.


Do you mean to suggest it's fardh? :confused: If that is what you're suggesting, then show evidence from the book? Because everything fardh in the Qur'an.

As far as I know, I've never read or heard of wearing the hijab as something compulsory or a commandment. From the hadiths, it is 'prescribed' or recommended to wear the hijab in order to maintain modesty, not have the opposite sex looking at you twice, get the wrong attention from the opposite sex. I'm not suggesting that just because your hair's covered, the latter will be reached, but it's the symbol of wearing hijab that shows you want to maintain your chastity. In fact, nowhere does it say, even from the Prophet, that you have to wear the hijab - it's up to the person.

In devout Muslim families, the thing about wearing hijab can get build up so much that you suddenly feel it's compulsory to wear hijab, but that's not the case. The thing is, if you take it off, others will question why you did it and if you give them the response you've given us, then there will be some tension.

OP, just remember, according to the hadith, it's a recommendation to wear it, you don't have to if you don't want to.

You seem to just doubt your faith. I'd highly recommend keeping the hijab on until you've done your research properly because if you choose to leave your faith, you can use your research to back up your argument, whereas, if you don't do research, go with your gut feeling and take the hijab off, the responses you give to people when they question why you took the hijab off, will not be deemed credible.

Whereas, if you wear the hijab and think through your doubt, do research, decide you don't wanna be a part of it, take of hijab, if anyone questions, you can confidently answer telling them why you're not of that faith. Chances are, there will be drama, but you'll feel more confident in your decision :h:

I hope this helps and whatever you choose to do is the right choice for you and makes you happy.
Reply 88
Original post by DarkParadise
I'm an 18 year old Somali who simply doesn't believe any more due to personal circumstances and researching more into religion and science.
Lately, I've been feeling like a hypocrite, walking around with a hijab on despite the change of my beliefs.
Two friends of mine have stopped wearing the hijab, but they're Bengali and their parents are less strict about covering up. I felt so envious of how much freedom they have.
I haven't told anyone that I no longer believe, as I'm too fearful of the consequences, but I know that I'm wearing the hijab for the wrong reasons. Religious friends have told me that they feel pride when wearing the hijab, but I feel nothing but frustration and anger at being restricted to show my hair. I fail to see why I can't show it - it's MY hair, I should be allowed to show it as much as I want, but it's not as easy as that.
The community I live in is very, very strict in terms of religion; I feel so emotionally isolated, and everyone seems to be so much happier than me.
The thing is, my whole family are devout Muslims who would surely kick me out if I dared to do such a thing.
This is genuinely getting me depressed; I don't know what to do. Can anyone help?


Intention is everything. If you're wearing it with no intention of pleasing Allah, then you won't reap the rewards. It's between you and Allah; your family should try to guide you, but ultimately it's your choice. We're given free will for a reason.

PS. I've often thought of not covering my hair up anymore. But I soon realised that the only reason I'd do that is for an ego boost. I'd get more attention if I didn't wear it, and that idea used to appeal to me. Now ofc I feel like I should wear it because I'm a Muslim. It humbles me and I'd feel incomplete without it.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 89
Original post by DarkParadise
The thing is, my whole family are devout Muslims who would surely kick me out if I dared to do such a thing.

Having a home but being forced to wear a hijab > not having a home.

If you're certain it'll end badly, perhaps you'll just have to live with it until you're able to move out. Maybe you could try to talk to your parents?
Fear Allah sis thats all im going to say. I am a muslim somali girl who wears the hijab and i understand your frustrations but please just think carefully about your choices. The reason why Islam asks us to wear the hijab is to be modest and cover our beauty so only our husbands and family/other girls can see it. In contrast to what most non-muslims think the hijab isnt oppressive at all. In fact i personally would feel degraded if i didnt wer my hijab. If a woman is allowed to walk down the street wearing close to nothing why is covering yourself not something we can do? You are beautiful and because you are so precious Islam has honoured you with hijab for preserving your purity and chastity. At the end of the day you alone can make this choice. Its Ramadan right now so i would advice you to read the translation if the Quran and focus on building your relationship with Allah. Society is just pressuring you trust me but our beloved Prophet saw said this world is like a prison for the believer but paradise for the non believer. We have to make sacrifices and keep striving forthr sake of Allah. If you need someone to talk to you can PM me any time and i promise i wont judge you :smile: p.s type 'i hate the hijab' by the bengalisisters on Yt as so many people have come across your situation xox
Reply 91
Original post by Mo_maths
This can be compared to the old man who lived till 115 and smoked 30 cigarettes a day, under your logic cigarettes do not affect life expectancy.


So it was her fault?
She obeyed the laws of the land (walking with her husband), covered all her modesty and at the end of the day, men still did this to her.

You said that the hijab demands respect and is a symbol of modesty - I didn't dispute this.
What I did dispute was that not everyone respects it and this is the case I presented. Of those men that raped her - how many do you think were Muslim, and knew what they were doing was wrong? I know that the hijab isn't some sort of force field that protects you from rape - if it was every woman would wear one; but for you to generalise and say more rapes happen to those that don't wear it, especially when I see stories from Egypt, Syria, Somalia on al-jazeerah about women wearing the niquab or the hijab being disrespected, in such ways (even by fellow Muslims).

As for the smoking man he may have lived for 115 years but he suffered: smokers cough, bad breath, breathing complications, heart problems, endangerment of life through second hand smoke, lowering of immunity etc. It's cause and effect. Just because the effect wasn't severe it doesn't mean it wasn't there.

The same way that just because rapes against Muslim women aren't widely reported it doesn't mean that it is a lesser problem, than rapes against those that go without the hijab.
i totally know where your coming from although i am a somali male i don't believe in the religion anymore but the family are likely to be extremely hostile towards me if i tell them. its really frustrating but i would avoid telling them knowing how they will likely react. i have a few friends in a similar position as well.
Reply 93
Original post by DarkParadise
I'm an 18 year old Somali who simply doesn't believe any more due to personal circumstances and researching more into religion and science.
Lately, I've been feeling like a hypocrite, walking around with a hijab on despite the change of my beliefs.
Two friends of mine have stopped wearing the hijab, but they're Bengali and their parents are less strict about covering up. I felt so envious of how much freedom they have.
I haven't told anyone that I no longer believe, as I'm too fearful of the consequences, but I know that I'm wearing the hijab for the wrong reasons. Religious friends have told me that they feel pride when wearing the hijab, but I feel nothing but frustration and anger at being restricted to show my hair. I fail to see why I can't show it - it's MY hair, I should be allowed to show it as much as I want, but it's not as easy as that.
The community I live in is very, very strict in terms of religion; I feel so emotionally isolated, and everyone seems to be so much happier than me.
The thing is, my whole family are devout Muslims who would surely kick me out if I dared to do such a thing.
This is genuinely getting me depressed; I don't know what to do. Can anyone help?

How do you not have freedom with the hijab?
Reply 94
There's no point doing something if you don't believe in it and BTW all it says about women in particular is "draw a veil over your breast" in the Qur'an so there aren't any specific dresses to wear.

Men have to cover from their navel to their knee at all times.
Original post by DarkParadise
I'm an 18 year old Somali who simply doesn't believe any more due to personal circumstances and researching more into religion and science.
Lately, I've been feeling like a hypocrite, walking around with a hijab on despite the change of my beliefs.
Two friends of mine have stopped wearing the hijab, but they're Bengali and their parents are less strict about covering up. I felt so envious of how much freedom they have.
I haven't told anyone that I no longer believe, as I'm too fearful of the consequences, but I know that I'm wearing the hijab for the wrong reasons. Religious friends have told me that they feel pride when wearing the hijab, but I feel nothing but frustration and anger at being restricted to show my hair. I fail to see why I can't show it - it's MY hair, I should be allowed to show it as much as I want, but it's not as easy as that.
The community I live in is very, very strict in terms of religion; I feel so emotionally isolated, and everyone seems to be so much happier than me.
The thing is, my whole family are devout Muslims who would surely kick me out if I dared to do such a thing.
This is genuinely getting me depressed; I don't know what to do. Can anyone help?

I think there are more important life consideration for you to worry about than covering your hair with a piece of cloth. you go girl, burn that jibjab
Original post by Spaz Man
There's no point doing something if you don't believe in it and BTW all it says about women in particular is "draw a veil over your breast" in the Qur'an
.
what about the other breast?
Reply 97
Original post by G D G
Take it off. Liberate yourself!

Edit: Why so many negs? :confused:



I think you got negged cos of the "liberate yourself" bit. Your idea of liberation may not be the same as someone else's. I think being liberated is having the freedom to choose what you wear and what you don't etc.- wearing a headscarf in itself isn't opposed to "liberation", but if the person is forced to do it then yes. But meh... my opinion.
Reply 98
Original post by fucensornzi
what about the other breast?


The "breast" means chest (like chicken breast)
Reply 99
Original post by DarkParadise
I'm an 18 year old Somali who simply doesn't believe any more due to personal circumstances and researching more into religion and science.
Lately, I've been feeling like a hypocrite, walking around with a hijab on despite the change of my beliefs.
Two friends of mine have stopped wearing the hijab, but they're Bengali and their parents are less strict about covering up. I felt so envious of how much freedom they have.
I haven't told anyone that I no longer believe, as I'm too fearful of the consequences, but I know that I'm wearing the hijab for the wrong reasons. Religious friends have told me that they feel pride when wearing the hijab, but I feel nothing but frustration and anger at being restricted to show my hair. I fail to see why I can't show it - it's MY hair, I should be allowed to show it as much as I want, but it's not as easy as that.
The community I live in is very, very strict in terms of religion; I feel so emotionally isolated, and everyone seems to be so much happier than me.
The thing is, my whole family are devout Muslims who would surely kick me out if I dared to do such a thing.
This is genuinely getting me depressed; I don't know what to do. Can anyone help?

Hello I am Somali too :smile:

the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

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