I feel like the girl that guys will never want to be in a relationship with

I would say I'm reasonably attractive, not amazing but I have a few things going for me that mean I am not unattractive, I get male attention. However I do not have much confidence in my looks... I don't let people know it though I have a façade of confidence. As for my personality I don't know, I am generally quite insecure though I have friends so I must be likeable. It's just that I've never met a guy who wants a relationship with me. I am 20 years old and first year of university.

I even slept with my best mate at uni (who I have no romantic feelings for which makes me a hypocrite) and he likes me as a person obviously and must find me attractive to some degree... but as far as I know has no interest in a relationship with me. Why not? If he doesn't, one of my closest friends, what hope do I have with anyone.

Reply 1

SuperDuperNoob

You're just 20. Don't worry, be happy :smile:

Reply 2

blessing2

1

Dont worry too much ur still very young

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Reply 3

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Sorry for the cliche, but "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't-- you're right"

Don't think like this, imagine yourself as beautiful and amazing, be confident with your appearance and life and always try to big yourself up in your head. It's not just about what they think of you, it's about what you think of yourself too. :smile:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 4

bsod

Focus on being you, if others don't see how great you are it's their loss. There are plenty of men who will find you attractive for all kinds of reasons, not just your looks.

You don't need to sleep with someone to figure out if they have any romantic interest.

Reply 5

Limpopo

17

The truth is that most men just cant help themselves. If you make yourself sexually available to them, they are just going to go for it unless there are some overriding factors to intervene. They will deal with emotional and moral issues afterwards once they have satiated their base desires and needs.

Its a big wide and often cruel world. We all compete. We all compare and wonder where we fit in and where we are in the pecking order.

All i can say to you is be yourself, be your best and look out continuously for opportunities to network,to improve and be better still. Dont follow..lead.

Reply 6

Maid Marian

20

You are only 20, you just haven't met the right guy yet. It's a numbers game: the more guys you meet, the more likely you'll find one who wants to be in a relationship with you.

You're attractive and get male attention: that's half the battle over already :smile:

Reply 7

Simonion

5

Original post by majmuh24

Sorry for the cliche, but "I think, therefore I am".

Don't think like this, imagine yourself as beautiful and amazing, be confident with your appearance and life and always try to big yourself up in your head. It's not just about what they think of you, it's about what you think of yourself too. :smile:

The worst misuse of a maxim I've ever seen.

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Reply 8

melodyogbebor

13

bit cliche, but things that you wait for are so much easier to hold on to. :smile:

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Reply 9

username1332537

12

You are young.There is plenty of time.Don't worry about it.

Reply 10

Mankytoes

10

Original post by Anonymous

I would say I'm reasonably attractive, not amazing but I have a few things going for me that mean I am not unattractive, I get male attention. However I do not have much confidence in my looks... I don't let people know it though I have a façade of confidence. As for my personality I don't know, I am generally quite insecure though I have friends so I must be likeable. It's just that I've never met a guy who wants a relationship with me. I am 20 years old and first year of university.

I even slept with my best mate at uni (who I have no romantic feelings for which makes me a hypocrite) and he likes me as a person obviously and must find me attractive to some degree... but as far as I know has no interest in a relationship with me. Why not? If he doesn't, one of my closest friends, what hope do I have with anyone.

How could you possibly know this? Or do you think that if a guy wants a relationship with you, he will tell you? Have a read around this forum to see how much trouble guys have doing this.

As you say, that whole paragraph is pretty hypocritical and self indulgent. You don't want a relationship with him... but why doesn't he like you? That isn't how attraction works, that's why people who give ratings out of ten are missing the point. It's emotional, about spark and chemistry, these are very vague things, you can't empirically work this stuff out, it's not a logical thing. Romance is not attraction plus having good friendship qualities.

Original post by majmuh24

Sorry for the cliche, but "I think, therefore I am".

Don't think like this, imagine yourself as beautiful and amazing, be confident with your appearance and life and always try to big yourself up in your head. It's not just about what they think of you, it's about what you think of yourself too. :smile:

That is just brilliant.

Reply 11

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Original post by Simonion

The worst misuse of a maxim I've ever seen.

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On the contrary, I would say being self confident and having a good mental image is a crucial part of getting a BF/GF.

My post was a bit too 'self-helpy' and may not have used that in the 'correct' way, but the point is still valid.

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Reply 12

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Original post by Mankytoes

That is just brilliant.

Edited.

I can't see why everyone has a problem with it. I admit the maxim may have been out of place, but self confidence and a good mental image are important. I've seen ugly guys get with hot girls mainly because they are confident.

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(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 13

MeMoiLove

9

Try closing your legs, maybe?

Reply 14

SoftPunch

3

Original post by MeMoiLove

Try closing your legs, maybe?

True.

Original post by Anonymous

Why not? If he doesn't, one of my closest friends, what hope do I have with anyone.

That's not a very good way to look at it. A lot of people just don't want to get involved in a relationship with their friends. As far as i'm concerned, if i'm close to someone they're off limits. My closest friends are girls and they're lovely, but I wouldn't want a relationship with any of them.

Keep in mind in first year, a lot of people (guys AND girls) are just after sex. That'll change in a year or two.

Reply 16

ninuzu

17

Original post by majmuh24

Sorry for the cliche, but "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't-- you're right"

Don't think like this, imagine yourself as beautiful and amazing, be confident with your appearance and life and always try to big yourself up in your head. It's not just about what they think of you, it's about what you think of yourself too. :smile:

You should write poems instead of rapping, majmuh. That was beautiful :rofl:

Reply 17

SoftPunch

3

Original post by lindopski

its 2014, screw who you like - women have as much right to a lay as guys do now.
Dont expect much emotionally from just a shag though, just keep an eye open for a decent bloke.
Even one a little older, my gf is 18 and I am 37 but you dont have to go that extreme (maybe +5 or so) ??

We only went for it as we got on really well and she was fed up of 18 year old boyfriends :s-smilie:

, we are dead happy - sadly with such a big gap the world hates it so try and keep yours a bit lower if you do go for it :wink:

post 18 and your gf is 18... coincidence...

Reply 18

alow

19

Original post by lindopski

its 2014, screw who you like - women have as much right to a lay as guys do now.
Dont expect much emotionally from just a shag though, just keep an eye open for a decent bloke.
Even one a little older, my gf is 18 and I am 37 but you dont have to go that extreme (maybe +5 or so) ??

We only went for it as we got on really well and she was fed up of 18 year old boyfriends :s-smilie: