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My mum is forcing me to pray.

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Original post by puregirl21
I'm 16 years old


I have the same problem with my mum urgh age is so annoying I just keep up with it until uni did u post on the what are you going to do after your gcses
Reply 81
Hi,

Contact your local mosque, beating to get someone to pray is WRONG. Hopefully she may see sense in a religious scholar telling her it's wrong.

tcx
You shouldn't have to pray at all if you don't want to, but I doubt that outright refusing will have have a great outcome for you, so why can't you fake it for now?

(actual question, I am wondering)
(edited 9 years ago)
It's psychological abuse. Plus physical abuse if she hits you.
lol she just wants whats best for you. ungrateful scrotes telling her to call childline rofl
Original post by ChickenMadness
lol she just wants whats best for you. ungrateful scrotes telling her to call childline rofl


get me! lol so what if she makes you pray for 10 mins, you can't even do that to make your own mum happy, shows how selfish the some the of youth is these days
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Safiya122
Firstly I'm pretty insulted with the previous comment you made about her parents getting her into a forced marriage. You're really making Pakistani Muslim parents - or even Muslim parents in general, sound really bad. Why would any parent want to force their child into a marriage???
I agree with Claret_n_Blue. It's only bloody like 10/15 mins of your time being used up for per prayer. There's no harm in her praying. Especially if it will do her good. You make it sound like Islam is a really dangerous religion and everyone is better off converting or not being part of the religion. And no, although your parents Pakistani Muslim parents I think you fail to understand that to go report your parents to the social services doesn't give your parents the bad name but it gives YOU the bad name as it shows you're willing to embarrass your parents. Parents don't hit their child randomly...if the child isn't listening after being consistently told the same thing then go for it! Sometimes shouting at a child does them no good.


Islam isn't just praying, it's a whole lifestyle and it's difficult and and feels awful to have to live that lifestyle when you don't believe in it. 'Theres no harm in her praying. Especially if it will do her good.' First of all stop shoving the fact you believe in the religion here - she doesn't. And even then how will it do her good if she's not sincere with her prayers? When her hearts not in it?
Some muslims parents are awful (not all obvs) - be happy yours weren't but don't deny that they exist. And you shouldn't tell social services about your parents if they're treating you bad because it will EMBARRASS THEM!? Oh god forbid you embarrass them, let them beat you but embarrassing someone? How cruel.
And yes some parents DO hit their children randomly or if not randomly they'll use a tiny excuse - stop acting as if you know everything especially if it's something you haven't even experienced. I'm not totally against physical discipline but i'm only for it for young children, if it's actually warranted and only if its not vicious.
It's amazing how naive you are. Yes forced marriages happen in Britain. 'Why would any parent want to force their child into a marriage???' because some parents don't care about what their child wants. Some parents aren't very good parents. Just because they're parents doesn't mean they've become some celestial being who can do no wrong.
Original post by yo radical one
You shouldn't have to pray at all if you don't want to, but I doubt that outright refusing will have have a great outcome for you, so why can't you fake it for now?

(actual question, I am wondering)


That's what I said, but certain posters (**cough**Qari**cough**) don't accept that because they "feel guilty for lying"
Original post by Anonymous
That's what I said, but certain posters (**cough**Qari**cough**) don't accept that because they "feel guilty for lying"


OP has to think of her safety foremost. She's being forced into this situation and whilst it doesn't make her parents bad, people don't always react rationally when it comes to spiritual beliefs.
I guess its the upbringing of a child. If the parents brings up their child with beats and spanks etc then it might have a physiological affect later on in their lives. Im indian and a muslim too (its quite hard to find a person from india who is a muslim as the population of india is generally filled with hindus) and my mum would never hit me when I got something wrong when she would teach me how to read the quran. When I started going to the mosque to continue practising my arabic, the teacher over there would slap/punch/kick the students if they kept talking persistently or if they had difficulty on reading the quran. Most of us were about 12-19 and we would just laugh at each other anyways since we were used to it. But then the teacher did go over the limit once and the student did complain to the police and since then the teacher hasn't hit a student.

Bottomline, obviously the OP's (if that stands for original poster) parents are Muslims. Im guessing their mentality is a bit different to yours and they probably are bringing you up as how they were brought up. You should stand up for yourself though, at times I've had to stand up for myself to my parents. Also, since your born as a muslim, you generally classified yourself as a muslim despite you not knowing much about the religion. Thats the problem. You haven't researched about the religion. Once you researched about it, you'll realize its a way of living your life. The prophet also said in a hadith (I forgot what hadith and im para phrasing it), 'if you haven't prayed, then pray 1 prayer, once you pray that prayer consistently pray 2 prayers and continue this trend until your able to pray all the 5 prayers in a day'.
Islam is not a religion in which it forces someone to do something.

I dont know if my answer made sense or not, im not good at this type of discussions, just wrote the first thing that came into my mind so yeah.
Reply 90
Beating really isn't "child abuse"
Original post by puregirl21
She makes me read it out with her and she did shout at me when I had to pray with her right now because I kept on fidgeting. The only reason she makes me pray is because she believes its the way for her to get into heaven, she doesn't even want it for the benefit of me. And I hate it so much, I can't even say anything to her because she's not like normal parents who would just accept it and move on. I still remember when I was learning to read the Qu'ran and she slapped me because I pronounced something wrong, then I was crying and she kept shouting at me to continue reading and I was so scared.


youre making your mum out to be evil, which she might be, but i doubt it. maybe youre angry because you disagree with their religion. im an ex-muslim too, and i really try not to detest my family in ramadan when im forced to sit through mosque prayers and needless fasting. be patient and perservere. dont make your family hate you, at the end of the day if you tell them they will be worried to death about you losing islamic values but most imporantly burning in hell. no mother would want to know that their child is going to burn in hell after they die.

grow up and earn your families respect before coming out, otherwise you can just leave them if you dont care.
i think the OP is one of those trolls who keeps making anti Islamic threads, seen it all before, dont you get tired of this lol
Original post by puregirl21
I don't even believe in the religion but I know that if I tell her she will beat me, I don't want what to do :frown:


This sort of crap happened to me. Went out at 3pm, came back at 11pm then all I see in my room is a damn lighted candle, with Christian music playing on a stereo and she put cross sign with oil all over my sheets, books and my revision stuff! She's been doing it for some time and it's starting to annoy me. But I just don't take no notice to it. Because I study A level Philosophy and Ethics, whenever she always says some religious BS, I just come back with an argument that puts her and her damn religion in place where she has nothing to say. Works all the time :P

Just ignore pay no mind to it!
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by brownsugar-xx
Islam isn't just praying, it's a whole lifestyle and it's difficult and and feels awful to have to live that lifestyle when you don't believe in it. 'Theres no harm in her praying. Especially if it will do her good.' First of all stop shoving the fact you believe in the religion here - she doesn't. And even then how will it do her good if she's not sincere with her prayers? When her hearts not in it?
Some muslims parents are awful (not all obvs) - be happy yours weren't but don't deny that they exist. And you shouldn't tell social services about your parents if they're treating you bad because it will EMBARRASS THEM!? Oh god forbid you embarrass them, let them beat you but embarrassing someone? How cruel.
And yes some parents DO hit their children randomly or if not randomly they'll use a tiny excuse - stop acting as if you know everything especially if it's something you haven't even experienced. I'm not totally against physical discipline but i'm only for it for young children, if it's actually warranted and only if its not vicious.
It's amazing how naive you are. Yes forced marriages happen in Britain. 'Why would any parent want to force their child into a marriage???' because some parents don't care about what their child wants. Some parents aren't very good parents. Just because they're parents doesn't mean they've become some celestial being who can do no wrong.


Then why the hell are you only emphasising this in terms of Muslim parents? Can't you say it as a general thing. Ha, I'm naïve yeah says you..you're only focusing on Muslim parents as hitting their children and forcing their children into marriage. Right, that means no other type of parents do that. Oh crap, I better run away from home before I live a life of misery. Yeah.
And in her case, she's lucky that her mum isn't just hitting her for the fun of it. True some parents do, and tbh they shouldn't even be parents, but her mum has a good enough excuse.
And yeah she shouldn't tell the social services. You clearly fail to understand about the Asian culture. It's the children who will be shunned upon. You're supposed to always respect and put your parents first. Even if they haven't done you right and have mistreated you - you still can't hurt them. If they have done then they will be answering to Allah.
"stop acting as if you know everything especially if it's something you haven't even experienced" - for all you know i could actually be speaking from experience. As far as I know, parents don't hit their children unless they have done something wrong so erm yeah. And it actually does work too so yeaaaah.
Rather than focusing on a particular culture focus on society as general. She's not gonna die from praying. The least she can do is listen to her mum. Her mum isn't putting her through this for a bad reason, she has her best interests in mind.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by BasharAssad
i think the OP is one of those trolls who keeps making anti Islamic threads, seen it all before, dont you get tired of this lol


Totally agree with this. Just gives certain people a chance to insult the religion.
Original post by claret_n_blue
Yeah, I'm sure sitting there for 10 mins while she "prays" is going to make her so terribly unhappy she will have depression for the rest of her life.


I completely agree with this^
She's making it sound like her life will be ruined or something if she spends 10-15 minutes praying. On top of this, praying is a good thing. It's not like being addicted to heroin or something..this type of act is a positive act and provides some good use for the individual.
Original post by Ripper-Roo
She really needs to **** off but it's not that simple. If she threatens to beat you up that's child abuse and seeing as you're 16 (I doubt you can move out on your own or provide for yourself, she's in a position of responsibility) I think you should make a phone call to the child abuse line. Parents are supposed to protect and let you come to your own decisions. I don't know if she's a good parent as I've only read what you have said but based on this she sounds toxic.


"Parents are supposed to protect" -- that's clearly what her mum is trying to do. She's protecting her from committing sins and protecting her from going to Hell.
Original post by Ggmu!
Easy for you to say.


Yeah, it easy for me to say. I'm not saying that it isn't. Any decision she makes about this is going to be hard. But it'll be worth it if she makes the right decision.
Original post by Safiya122
Then why the hell are you only emphasising this in terms of Muslim parents? Can't you say it as a general thing. Ha, I'm naïve yeah says you..you're only focusing on Muslim parents as hitting their children and forcing their children into marriage. Right, that means no other type of parents do that. Oh crap, I better run away from home before I live a life of misery. Yeah.
And in her case, she's lucky that her mum isn't just hitting her for the fun of it. True some parents do, and tbh they shouldn't even be parents, but her mum has a good enough excuse.
And yeah she shouldn't tell the social services. You clearly fail to understand about the Asian culture. It's the children who will be shunned upon. You're supposed to always respect and put your parents first. Even if they haven't done you right and have mistreated you - you still can't hurt them. If they have done then they will be answering to Allah.
"stop acting as if you know everything especially if it's something you haven't even experienced" - for all you know i could actually be speaking from experience. As far as I know, parents don't hit their children unless they have done something wrong so erm yeah. And it actually does work too so yeaaaah.
Rather than focusing on a particular culture focus on society as general. She's not gonna die from praying. The least she can do is listen to her mum. Her mum isn't putting her through this for a bad reason, she has her best interests in mind.


Holy crap you are so dense. Did you read ANYTHING i wrote? I'm focusing on muslim parents because her parents are muslim. I'm focusing on muslim parents who hit their children because oh wait HER MUM IS MUSLIM AND HITTING HER. Jesus it's like talking to a brick wall.
And if you were speaking from experience you wouldnt say such ignorant statements like 'OMG parents never abuse kids for no reason what are you talking about'.
And no i don't fail to understand Asian culture - i understand it too well, abuse and fear shouldn't be part of any culture.

There is honestly no point in me arguing with you because your lack of common sense and morals is making me have to explain everything as if i was talking to a 5 year old. I fear for your children when you begin to beat them into believing in your own religion because they want to have a mind of their own.

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