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Question for the fairer sex, is it ever a good idea for a man to tell you he's a....

Poll

Ladies, a man you're dating is a virgin, should he let you know?

..virgin?

I'm 26 and am still a virgin. I have mixed feelings about revealing it or not revealing it. If I reveal it I guess it will ease my anxiety and perhaps bring me closer to my partner, since I'll sharing such an intimate secret with her. She might also try to make it "special", whatever that means.

On the other hand there is a possibility that a woman will lose some of her attraction for me if I reveal this to her. Let's face it, virgins aren't exactly common after high school graduation. They're even less common after college graduation. She might still be accepting but she will probably wonder why. This could make or break me.

Keep in mind that this is all hypothetical as I don't have a girlfriend at the moment.

For those who are wondering why I'm still a virgin, my parents are Pakistani Muslims.... that should explain it all.

Reply 1

Mr Smurf

20

Don't reveal it because it is a turn off for most girls at that age. If she asks then lie. She will find out when you do have sex but you would have lost it by then so who cares?

Reply 2

ThreadPoster

OP

2

Original post by Mr Smurf

Don't reveal it because it is a turn off for most girls at that age. If she asks then lie. She will find out when you do have sex but you would have lost it by then so who cares?

I admire your cynicism.

Reply 3

Arkasia

19

Most girls won't care tbh.

Reply 4

purplehedgehog11

7

You should tell a girl if you're a virgin if you're serious about her IMO and if she's not understanding that's her problem?

If it's just a hookup (which I'm guessing isn't going to be the case in your hypothetical scenario) she could be weirded out.

Reply 5

abc101

17

Pretty sure it's gonna be fairly obvious when you do have sex. Also male or female I can't imagine losing my virginity to someone I didn't even feel comfortable enough to tell I wasn't a virgin. It'll probably come up in conversation anyway, even flippantly she might ask how many people you've been with, it's far better just to be honest.

Reply 6

sliceofcake

15

Original post by abc101

Pretty sure it's gonna be fairly obvious when you do have sex. Also male or female I can't imagine losing my virginity to someone I didn't even feel comfortable enough to tell I wasn't a virgin. It'll probably come up in conversation anyway, even flippantly she might ask how many people you've been with, it's far better just to be honest.

I agree. I don't think you need to go out of your way to tell her (though it's most likely to become obvious) but if she asks, don't lie to her. If she cares about you, I can't imagine it being a problem. As someone else said, as soon as she sleeps with you, you're not a virgin anymore so it's not even a permanent issue.

Also referring to females as "the fairer sex" is pretty outdated now.

Reply 7

ilem

17

It's probably because you use the term "the fairer sex".

Reply 8

ringlet

16

you should tell her so at least she won't be disappointed/surprised when it's all over in 30 seconds.

plus, if you're gonna have sex you should probably trust her enough to tell her this kind of information - it's not a big deal anyway.

Reply 9

lv587

5

Tell her - if she can't deal it then she's not the person you should be having a relationship with.

Also, as said above, she'll know when it happens so telling her will avoid potential disappointment and awkwardness when it's all over.

Reply 10

ThreadPoster

OP

2

Well I guess my fear is if I let a woman know that she won't want to have sex with me anymore. I mean I won't tell her right away but I'm hoping after a few dates when we know each other a bit, then I'll tell her. However my situation is so unusual I'm a bit nervous that she may run as fast as possible in the other direction.

Reply 11

Tom78

18

Original post by amylouisenic

you should tell her so at least she won't be disappointed/surprised when it's all over in 30 seconds.

plus, if you're gonna have sex you should probably trust her enough to tell her this kind of information - it's not a big deal anyway.

You'd be surprised, lots of guys don't finish the first time (I didn't), or have trouble keeping their erection. You're right though it's likely to be disappointing or average regardless :biggrin:

Reply 12

SophiaLDN

13

Definitely not a turn off. Just be honest, she will appreciate you sharing that with her. Also, it'll be worse if you lie & then she'll think you're crap in bed.

Reply 13

am_blue

9

Original post by ThreadPoster

..virgin?

I'm 26 and am still a virgin. I have mixed feelings about revealing it or not revealing it. If I reveal it I guess it will ease my anxiety and perhaps bring me closer to my partner, since I'll sharing such an intimate secret with her. She might also try to make it "special", whatever that means.

On the other hand there is a possibility that a woman will lose some of her attraction for me if I reveal this to her. Let's face it, virgins aren't exactly common after high school graduation. They're even less common after college graduation. She might still be accepting but she will probably wonder why. This could make or break me.

Keep in mind that this is all hypothetical as I don't have a girlfriend at the moment.

For those who are wondering why I'm still a virgin, my parents are Pakistani Muslims.... that should explain it all.

Damn...have you at least been given a blowjob?

Reply 14

am_blue

9

Original post by SophiaLDN

Definitely not a turn off. Just be honest, she will appreciate you sharing that with her. Also, it'll be worse if you lie & then she'll think you're crap in bed.

Not a turn off? Kl.

Babes, I'm a virgin...let's do the dirty

Reply 15

username1533709

5

Original post by am_blue

Not a turn off? Kl.

Babes, I'm a virgin...let's do the dirty

Posted from TSR Mobile

What does KI mean?

Reply 16

am_blue

9

Original post by Kadak

Posted from TSR Mobile

What does KI mean?

Cool.

It was K l...not K and i

Reply 17

ringlet

16

Original post by Tom78

You'd be surprised, lots of guys don't finish the first time (I didn't), or have trouble keeping their erection. You're right though it's likely to be disappointing or average regardless :biggrin:

Yeah you're right haha was actually discussing sex with my male friends tonight and one's first time lasted 45 mins and he didn't cum. I just assumed all men would the first time, and quickly. Learn something new every day haha.

Reply 18

ThreadPoster

OP

2

Original post by am_blue

Damn...have you at least been given a blowjob?

I am completely inexperienced. Never kissed, groped, received or given. I went to a strip club once and have seen naked breasts but other than that.... nada. As I said conservative Pakistani Muslim background should explain it all.

My level of inexperience is unusual for a man my age and especially one living in the west, hence the question of whether or not I should just stay mum about it and "fake it till I make it".

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 19

ThreadPoster

OP

2

Original post by capachino

i dont think you should tbh , you can make it special anyway say you want your first time TOGETHER with her to be special (she would probarly like that) if you say its your first ever and you want it to be special thats alot of pressure to put on someone

That's actually a really good point, one that I didn't consider. I've mostly been thinking about how she would react and whether or not it would be a dealbreaker. As I mentioned my level of inexperience is quite unusual. It's not a situation most adults expect to deal with or have any experience dealing with.

Question for the fairer sex, is it ever a good idea for a man to tell you he's a....

Ladies, a man you're dating is a virgin, should he let you know?

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