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Sex after marriage?? Struggling with it :/ watch

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    So I was raised in a christian household, with a very religious mother and a not so religious father. I've not really been much of a religious person myself, up until this summer when I went to a christian camp/festival (Soul survivor, whooooop) when I decided to become more religious. So far, I've encountered two problems:
    a) struggling to believe that God really exists. On some level, I think I know he does but it's hard to achieve that kind of blind faith a lot of Christians have. I'm also fairly dubious about the reliability of the bible, but that's not relevant right now. The main issue is:

    b) sex after marriage

    I mainly feel that saving myself until marriage means that I'm going to be missing out on a whole host of life experiences (well, sex). It it also limits who I can date. Plus, I don't really understand why it's such a big deal? Why on earth would God care about who I screw? Why do christians blindly accept that as a fact just because it was written in the bible, WHICH WASN'T EVEN WRITTEN BY GOD?
    I don't know, it just frustrates me. I want to have sex before marriage, but I know that if I do I'll feel really guilty about it (as it is, I have to say a prayer of apology every time I masturbate, because apparently that's also a sin).


    So yeah, can somebody help me to understand why sex after marriage is such an important thing?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I was raised in a christian household, with a very religious mother and a not so religious father. I've not really been much of a religious person myself, up until this summer when I went to a christian camp/festival (Soul survivor, whooooop) when I decided to become more religious. So far, I've encountered two problems:
    a) struggling to believe that God really exists. On some level, I think I know he does but it's hard to achieve that kind of blind faith a lot of Christians have. I'm also fairly dubious about the reliability of the bible, but that's not relevant right now. The main issue is:

    b) sex after marriage

    I mainly feel that saving myself until marriage means that I'm going to be missing out on a whole host of life experiences (well, sex). It it also limits who I can date. Plus, I don't really understand why it's such a big deal? Why on earth would God care about who I screw? Why do christians blindly accept that as a fact just because it was written in the bible, WHICH WASN'T EVEN WRITTEN BY GOD?
    I don't know, it just frustrates me. I want to have sex before marriage, but I know that if I do I'll feel really guilty about it (as it is, I have to say a prayer of apology every time I masturbate, because apparently that's also a sin).


    So yeah, can somebody help me to understand why sex after marriage is such an important thing?
    I think if God exists they (gender neutral ftw) would be all-loving and want humans to be happy and not worry over details like sex before marriage, which, if it were SO important, should have been made more explicitly clear

    We can't just assume ethics
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    God told me its fine, go ahead and get laid.
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    It's NOT an important thing. As long as you use protection, enjoy yourself
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    (Original post by number23)
    I think if God exists they (gender neutral ftw) would be all-loving and want humans to be happy and not worry over details like sex before marriage, which, if it were SO important, should have been made more explicitly clear

    We can't just assume ethics
    I completely agree. To be honest, I feel that Christians spend so much time worrying about things that they might have done that may be a sin rather than actually focusing on their faith and religion xD

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    God told me its fine, go ahead and get laid.
    Haha :lol:

    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    It's NOT an important thing. As long as you use protection, enjoy yourself
    I wish I could, but I suffer from Christian Guilt Syndrome :cry2:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I was raised in a Christian household, with a very religious mother and a not so religious father. I've not really been much of a religious person myself, up until this summer when I went to a Christian camp/festival (Soul survivor, whooooop) when I decided to become more religious. So far, I've encountered two problems:
    a) struggling to believe that God really exists. On some level, I think I know he does but it's hard to achieve that kind of blind faith a lot of Christians have. I'm also fairly dubious about the reliability of the bible, but that's not relevant right now. The main issue is:

    b) sex after marriage

    I mainly feel that saving myself until marriage means that I'm going to be missing out on a whole host of life experiences (well, sex). It is also limits who I can date. Plus, I don't really understand why it's such a big deal? Why on earth would God care about who I screw? Why do Christians blindly accept that as a fact just because it was written in the bible, WHICH WASN'T EVEN WRITTEN BY GOD?
    I don't know, it just frustrates me. I want to have sex before marriage, but I know that if I do I'll feel really guilty about it (as it is, I have to say a prayer of apology every time I masturbate, because apparently that's also a sin).


    So yeah, can somebody help me to understand why sex after marriage is such an important thing?
    It's not only about sex... its more than that
    whats the purpose of having sex?
    to have family
    so abviously if u tryna have sex before marriage, u not doing this to have children and in christinanity its all about family
    even contraception isnt allowed as u wasting sperm and an egg that makes up a baby
    and who knows that the person u having sex with might ditch u afterwards and everyone gonna blame u
    so marriage is a compitment and u feel more safe and u can trust ur partner too... coz nowdays pretty much all guys want sex than a pure relationship/love
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    yes you're missing out on ALOT of life for pretty much no reason basically. Unless you think sex will make you go to hell.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    I wish I could, but I suffer from Christian Guilt Syndrome :cry2:
    I had that too. Just need to get over it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's not only about sex... its more than that
    whats the purpose of having sex?
    to have family
    so abviously if u tryna have sex before marriage, u not doing this to have children and in christinanity its all about family
    even contraception isnt allowed as u wasting sperm and an egg that makes up a baby
    and who knows that the person u having sex with might ditch u afterwards and everyone gonna blame u
    so marriage is a compitment and u feel more safe and u can trust ur partner too... coz nowdays pretty much all guys want sex than a pure relationship/love
    Lol at christians who are against the use of contraception
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I completely agree. To be honest, I feel that Christians spend so much time worrying about things that they might have done that may be a sin rather than actually focusing on their faith and religion xD



    Haha :lol:



    I wish I could, but I suffer from Christian Guilt Syndrome :cry2:
    You've said yourself that Christians spend too much time focussing on that and not enough on their religion. My boyfriend is a christian but he doesn't believe god would have anything against it - why would he? It's natural. Don't do anything you don't want to do, but if you want to then do it. God should love you anyway
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    I'm Catholic, and I personally don't believe in the no sex before marriage thing. I don't think it makes a difference really. The whole point behind it was that you were to have a family and save yourself for one person basically, but I personally don't think it really matters. If you want to do it, go ahead! If you want to save yourself for marriage then that's great too! All down to personal choice I say
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    Most religions pick and choose from their holy books these days, so I don't see what difference it makes forgetting about this one!
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    Because the bible teaches us that sex is to procreate and to save yourself for that one person. It's your own choice though. Whatever you believe is right for you.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    You've said yourself that Christians spend too much time focussing on that and not enough on their religion. My boyfriend is a christian but he doesn't believe god would have anything against it - why would he? It's natural. Don't do anything you don't want to do, but if you want to then do it. God should love you anyway
    Yeah, you're right. I like your mentality to be honest- if I can't see why god wouldn't like me to have sex before marriage, then why not? I guess I've got too caught up in what my other christian friends have said
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    (Original post by aamirac)
    Because the bible teaches us that sex is to procreate and to save yourself for that one person. It's your own choice though. Whatever you believe is right for you.
    Are you christian?

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    (Original post by aamirac)
    Because the bible teaches us that sex is to procreate and to save yourself for that one person. It's your own choice though. Whatever you believe is right for you.
    Okay, but why is whatever the bible says law? How can we trust it was written by people in contact with god, not just some randomers who decided to magic up a couple of rules just for laughs? (obviously that wasn't the case, but still.)
    And secondly, what about a married couple that know that they are infertile and cannot have children? Should they stop having sex?
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    Break free of this ridiculous dogma and get down to it, would be my advice
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, you're right. I like your mentality to be honest- if I can't see why god wouldn't like me to have sex before marriage, then why not? I guess I've got too caught up in what my other christian friends have said
    Exactly. You should do what is right for you. Just because your friends aren't having sex, doesn't mean you can't. Be happy, and enjoy yourself however you wish to do so. I'm not religious myself, but I believe that if there was a god, he'd want his people to be happy. So you just do you, and let everyone else do what they believe is right for them
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lol at christians who are against the use of contraception
    Christian ideas about contraception come from church teachings rather than scripture, as the Bible has little to say about the subject. As a result, their teachings on birth control are often based on different Christian interpretations of the meaning of marriage, sex and the family.Christian acceptance of contraception is relatively new; all churches disapproved of artificial contraception until the start of the 20th century.In modern times different Christian churches hold different views about the rightness and wrongness of using birth control.Liberal Protestant churches often teach that it is acceptable to use birth control, as long as it is not used to encourage or permit promiscuous behaviour.Less liberal churches only approve the use of contraception for people who are married to each other.Since these churches regard sex outside marriage as morally wrong (or if not wrong, as less than good), they believe that abstaining from sex would be morally better than having sex and using birth control.More conservative churches suggest that contraception should be limited to married couples who are using it to regulate the size and spacing of their family. They often teach that using contraception to prevent children altogether is not desirable.The Roman Catholic Church only allows 'natural' birth control, by which it means only having sex during the infertile period of a woman's monthly cycle. Artificial methods of contraception are banned.Thus the only way for a Catholic couple to be faithful to the Church's teachings on human sexuality and to avoid having children is to use 'natural' family planning. Many Catholics have decided to disobey church teaching in this part of their lives, causing a substantial breach between laity and the Church establishment.
    • #3
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lol at christians who are against the use of contraception
    Christian ideas about contraception come from church teachings rather than scripture, as the Bible has little to say about the subject. As a result, their teachings on birth control are often based on different Christian interpretations of the meaning of marriage, sex and the family.Christian acceptance of contraception is relatively new; all churches disapproved of artificial contraception until the start of the 20th century.In modern times different Christian churches hold different views about the rightness and wrongness of using birth control.Liberal Protestant churches often teach that it is acceptable to use birth control, as long as it is not used to encourage or permit promiscuous behaviour.Less liberal churches only approve the use of contraception for people who are married to each other.Since these churches regard sex outside marriage as morally wrong (or if not wrong, as less than good), they believe that abstaining from sex would be morally better than having sex and using birth control.More conservative churches suggest that contraception should be limited to married couples who are using it to regulate the size and spacing of their family. They often teach that using contraception to prevent children altogether is not desirable.The Roman Catholic Church only allows 'natural' birth control, by which it means only having sex during the infertile period of a woman's monthly cycle. Artificial methods of contraception are banned.Thus the only way for a Catholic couple to be faithful to the Church's teachings on human sexuality and to avoid having children is to use 'natural' family planning. Many Catholics have decided to disobey church teaching in this part of their lives, causing a substantial breach between laity and the Church establishment.



 
 
 
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