I want to date my best friend who is also my best friends ex. Watch

TrebleGirl
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My best guy friend and I have kissed/made-out a couple times and I think we both want to pursue a relationship. The only thing hold us back is that he and one of our other friends broke up a year ago.
All of us have been friends since primary school. They dated for just about three years. Things ended pretty badly because she cheated, but they are on speaking terms at the moment and we all still hang out in a large group setting. She is also happily in a new relationship.
Is there a way to tell her without her blowing up? Is it horrible to consider dating a friends ex? Do I even have to tell her?

Best,

TrebleGirl
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EmilyH1256
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If she has moved on it shouldn’t matter she might be upset but remind her that she has a whole boyfriend so she shouldn’t be mad it’s been over a year and you really like him..
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TrebleGirl
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(Original post by EmilyH1256)
If she has moved on it shouldn’t matter she might be upset but remind her that she has a whole boyfriend so she shouldn’t be mad it’s been over a year and you really like him..
Thank you! I hope she see the logic like you. She tends to be a bit of a loose cannon but I'm hoping things will workout.
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EmilyH1256
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(Original post by TrebleGirl)
Thank you! I hope she see the logic like you. She tends to be a bit of a loose cannon but I'm hoping things will workout.
Well good luck hope it all works out.. maybe tell her he makes you happy and she is happy so why can’t you be happy as well.. dont u deserve to be happy..?
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bones-mccoy
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Talk to her about it. Normally I'd say you should check that she's okay with the two of you dating, that it won't upset her or be awkward and that she's moved on, but considering she cheated I wouldn't really care what she thought.
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marzipan1030
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(Original post by TrebleGirl)
My best guy friend and I have kissed/made-out a couple times and I think we both want to pursue a relationship. The only thing hold us back is that he and one of our other friends broke up a year ago.
All of us have been friends since primary school. They dated for just about three years. Things ended pretty badly because she cheated, but they are on speaking terms at the moment and we all still hang out in a large group setting. She is also happily in a new relationship.
Is there a way to tell her without her blowing up? Is it horrible to consider dating a friends ex? Do I even have to tell her?

Best,

TrebleGirl
If she’s moved on there should be no problem- she shouldn’t have a say in the relationship because she isn’t going out with him and she also cheated on him. She might be upset but she’s going to have to deal with it. You don’t necessarily need to tell her but if you want to then do it (but don’t ask for her permission to go out with him) just tell her one day that you and your guy friend are going on a date, or that you like him and he likes you. There shouldn’t really be any problem x
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TrebleGirl
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
Talk to her about it. Normally I'd say you should check that she's okay with the two of you dating, that it won't upset her or be awkward and that she's moved on, but considering she cheated I wouldn't really care what she thought.
For a while I thought about asking her permission, but like you I realized I don't need it. I know should tell her so she doesn't find out through someone else but you're right she has no reason to be upset. Thanks!
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Ray_Shadows
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seems like a snake move to make

talk to her about it first
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TrebleGirl
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(Original post by marzipan1030)
If she’s moved on there should be no problem- she shouldn’t have a say in the relationship because she isn’t going out with him and she also cheated on him. She might be upset but she’s going to have to deal with it. You don’t necessarily need to tell her but if you want to then do it (but don’t ask for her permission to go out with him) just tell her one day that you and your guy friend are going on a date, or that you like him and he likes you. There shouldn’t really be any problem x
Thank you! I agree I don't need her permission. At this point I'm trying to figure out how to tell her without her freaking out. I'm open to suggestions haha!
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mariobrothers
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No, it is not horrible at all. You shouldn't feel bad. Everything happened after their relationship. She has already moved on and started a new relationship. It is now between you and the guy, not the girl friend. Wish you all the best.
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TrebleGirl
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(Original post by Ray_Shadows)
seems like a snake move to make

talk to her about it first
I know.... I feel bad. If him and I hadn't been friends before they dated I wouldn't even be thinking about it. Both him and I decided that for once our happiness needs to come before hers. That sounds mean but if you knew her you would understand. She's had tow boyfriends since they broke up and she's currently in a happy relationship... I'm hoping that will soften the blow.
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TrebleGirl
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(Original post by mariobrothers)
No, it is not horrible at all. You shouldn't feel bad. Everything happened after their relationship. She has already moved on and started a new relationship. It is now between you and the guy, not the girl friend. Wish you all the best.
Thank you!! I need to keep telling myself that her opinion no longer matters.
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Ray_Shadows
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(Original post by TrebleGirl)
I know.... I feel bad. If him and I hadn't been friends before they dated I wouldn't even be thinking about it. Both him and I decided that for once our happiness needs to come before hers. That sounds mean but if you knew her you would understand. She's had tow boyfriends since they broke up and she's currently in a happy relationship... I'm hoping that will soften the blow.
yeh i guess that's understandable , just be careful how you go about explaining it to your friend
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TrebleGirl
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(Original post by Ray_Shadows)
yeh i guess that's understandable , just be careful how you go about explaining it to your friend

That's what I'm worried about. She tends to be a loose cannon. Any suggestions?
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Ray_Shadows
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(Original post by TrebleGirl)
That's what I'm worried about. She tends to be a loose cannon. Any suggestions?
try to find a nice isolated area first (away from the public as much s possible)

go about deeply acknowledging that her and her ex are no longer together

describe the bond you've built with the guy

i'll think she'll get the message, if she doesn't take it well then that's her problem tbh
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futbol
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(Original post by TrebleGirl)
My best guy friend and I have kissed/made-out a couple times and I think we both want to pursue a relationship. The only thing hold us back is that he and one of our other friends broke up a year ago.
All of us have been friends since primary school. They dated for just about three years. Things ended pretty badly because she cheated, but they are on speaking terms at the moment and we all still hang out in a large group setting. She is also happily in a new relationship.
Is there a way to tell her without her blowing up? Is it horrible to consider dating a friends ex? Do I even have to tell her?

Best,

TrebleGirl
Just date him, if she doesn't understand then screw her.
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TrebleGirl
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(Original post by Ray_Shadows)
try to find a nice isolated area first (away from the public as much s possible)

go about deeply acknowledging that her and her ex are no longer together

describe the bond you've built with the guy

i'll think she'll get the message, if she doesn't take it well then that's her problem tbh
Thank you, I'm thinking of maybe meeting somewhere that's public but not around many people. In hopes that it will limit her from making a scene. Thanks for the advice!
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TrebleGirl
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(Original post by futbol)
Just date him, if she doesn't understand then screw her.
Thanks for the positivity! I think I will!
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mariobrothers
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(Original post by TrebleGirl)
Thank you!! I need to keep telling myself that her opinion no longer matters.
yeap, u r totally right. If she does mind, it is obviously her problem.
Of course if you and she are BEST FRIENDS, you can tell her, but it is just like sharing something happy with your friends, like sharing a good restaurant or a movie, it is not like you owe it to her. ^^
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by TrebleGirl)
My best guy friend and I have kissed/made-out a couple times and I think we both want to pursue a relationship. The only thing hold us back is that he and one of our other friends broke up a year ago.
All of us have been friends since primary school. They dated for just about three years. Things ended pretty badly because she cheated, but they are on speaking terms at the moment and we all still hang out in a large group setting. She is also happily in a new relationship.
Is there a way to tell her without her blowing up? Is it horrible to consider dating a friends ex? Do I even have to tell her?

Best,

TrebleGirl
Considering she cheated on him, she obviously doesn't care about him, therefore imo it's fine for you two to date. Mention it to her that you are in a relationship with him. If she has a problem that's very strange considering she cheated. Don't ask for her permission or anything, just tell her "hey me and X are dating now, just wanted you to know".
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