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What do I do when nobody seems to like me

I am getting to a point in life where I am wondering if I will ever have friends and what makes it worse is that I can't see what I am doing wrong or why people don't like me.

Without sounding shallow I can see why certain people don't have friends with it being due to having poor hygiene or being really quiet etc or being too desperate and putting people off that way, but to me I can't see any red flags that stick out so it's very frustrating.

What's most frustrating is that the only advice I ever get is that my time will come or I am told that for my life journey I am meant to be alone and shouldn't be upset about it or that I should find a good book to read, according to some I am to just accept things as they are and be happy and that I am over complicating the situation.

I don't see it as over complicating the situation as I am now 24 and my time doesn't seem to be coming anytime soon. I didn't go to University that could have been a place where I made friends, it's where most people do but besides that I've tried joining clubs etc and nothing seems to work.

It's the same with dating, I never seem to be anybody's type, well except for 50+ year old men and men that don't look after themselves / aren't my type ( are really over weight) which knocks my confidence so much. Besides that no one else messaged me so I gave up on that too, after seven years of trying. And when I have been in friend circles for a short period of time they will always try and set me up with someone that just isn't my type at all and I know looks aren't everything but it will always be with someone I am not attracted to and it makes me think how bad do I actually look, it makes me think am I delusional, I know I am no model but it makes me think I could be delusional and everyone else see's something else.

I try to remain as positive as possible because I don't want to stir people away by looking like a negative person, regardless of my smiles and me being positive throughout my loneliness nothing seems to be happening. Every year I have that day where I feel seriously depressed and post something like this, to which I know probably won't solve the problem but it beats doing nothing.

I just don't know what to do anymore and I feel the older I get the less of a chance I have of making friends. When I would go on holidays as a late teen I never had any trouble what so ever in making friends, I would always be the most popular person of the group but at home in my city people avoid me like the plague and I just don't understand. I've tried reaching out to people I've met on holidays in previous years but it never leads anywhere so I've stopped doing that also.

I just feel nobody is wanting to give me a chance for some reason and it's very frustrating.

Reply 1

northlondon1987

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6270554

Reply 2

Ross5723

Original post by northlondon1987

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6270554

That's a post from nine months ago with one response to it? both users probably don't use this forum anymore.

Reply 3

northlondon1987

Original post by Ross5723

That's a post from nine months ago with one response to it? both users probably don't use this forum anymore.

Hi Ross,
I'm sorry to hear that you feel like you will never make friends - it must be a very isolating feeling. Most people make friends at school, university or work, but you mentioned that this has not been the case for you. May I ask if you work? Personally, I keep very little contact with my friends from school and university - most of my friends I met through various jobs I have had. You sound like a very intelligent and reflective person - which is unusual for a 24-year-old! Please don't feel despondent - I remember being in my 20's was really tough and to be honest you couldn't pay me to go back. People in their 20's can be very fickle and superficial. Do you have any special interests? You could try and find a local group who share the same interests. Alternatively, lots of people (especially if they live in rural areas) make friends online through special interest sites or gaming. Anyway, sorry if this doesn't help! I really hope you find some answers. If it helps - I never had any friends as a teenager as I was obsessed with music and so spent all my time in my room learning instruments! Now I have lots of like-minded music friends as well as the ability to play music! Sometimes being a loner works out really well :smile: