Are You Saving Sex For Marriage?
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Marriage may not be forever also
People change
People change
Original post by Popppppy
Not fear of pregnancy no.
Personally, I'm a Christian and I believe sex is to be shared between married couples, but other sexual activity is acceptable as one still remains a virgin.
Of course other Christians may think all sexual contact is wrong whilst others have no problem with premarital sex.
Personally, I'm a Christian and I believe sex is to be shared between married couples, but other sexual activity is acceptable as one still remains a virgin.
Of course other Christians may think all sexual contact is wrong whilst others have no problem with premarital sex.
Unless you just mean kissing what's the point
If you've done every thing except vaginal sex your not really a virgin anymore
I haven't "saved myself" for marriage, but I don't disrespect those who do. The way I see it, I have only ever had sex with one person. He is the man I intend to marry; we're engaged and planning the wedding. I enjoy having sex - I think it's fun but I also love sharing such an intimate moment with him. I trust him implicitly. I don't have any beliefs strong enough to make me want to "save myself" - I'm very much an atheist - but, as I said, I don't disrespect those who do choose to wait, as long as they don't disrespect me for having sex in a stable, committed relationship.
Original post by Popppppy
So if someone is really annoying you and you want to punch them, you think you should because it's illogical to suppress natural urges?
If I'm sitting on the bus and I really need to pee I should just go for it? Wouldn't want to illogically suppress one of those natural urges!
Great advice! Thanks!
If I'm sitting on the bus and I really need to pee I should just go for it? Wouldn't want to illogically suppress one of those natural urges!
Great advice! Thanks!
Eventually you'll pee yourself though...
Original post by Tabzqt
I completely disagree with your viewpoint because I find it extremely illogical to suppress natural urges.
I completely disagree with your viewpoint because I find it extremely illogical to suppress natural urges.
I'm sorry, but a blanket statement like that is ridiculous. There are a huge number of logical reasons to suppress some natural urges. I might have an urge to eat a lot of junk food, but logically, that's a bad idea because I'll get fat. I might have an urge to yell at someone at work, but I don't because I'd probably get fired.
Okay, so you think that in this particular case it's illogical to resist your natural urges, but I presume you don't give into them all the time? If you're in a committed relationship, but have an urge to go and sleep with someone else, presumably you wouldn't give into that urge?
Original post by Aula
I'm sorry, but a blanket statement like that is ridiculous. There are a huge number of logical reasons to suppress some natural urges. I might have an urge to eat a lot of junk food, but logically, that's a bad idea because I'll get fat. I might have an urge to yell at someone at work, but I don't because I'd probably get fired.
Okay, so you think that in this particular case it's illogical to resist your natural urges, but I presume you don't give into them all the time? If you're in a committed relationship, but have an urge to go and sleep with someone else, presumably you wouldn't give into that urge?
Okay, so you think that in this particular case it's illogical to resist your natural urges, but I presume you don't give into them all the time? If you're in a committed relationship, but have an urge to go and sleep with someone else, presumably you wouldn't give into that urge?
I've already addressed this concern. Please read more carefully in future.
Original post by deedee123
what are the "positives" of sex? I'm not saying i've saved it until marriage/i don't enjoy it but what would you say are solid positives? I don't mean "it's fun" 
There are many positives, but what's wrong with "it's fun" as a reason? We do lots of things for fun.
"Yeah, we could go paintballing, but apart from fun, what else would we get out of it?"
anyway, sex increases intimacy, allows you to sort out sexual compatibility before marriage, and even has some health benefits too...
Original post by Misstery
No Tabzqt41971464. That's not how a claim works. You made the claim. You defend it. You argue it for yourself. So far you've made some weak fallacious appeal to nature, and then some vague references to 'good' and 'bad' consequences, whatever you think those are. I think you yourself know you haven't made much of a case. Now you're apparently claiming some (poor) counter arguments to someone who tried to help you out with this are 'evidence' for your statements. But you still have a chance. Go on. Construct an argument. Otherwise you're just slandering people. Which isn't logical or rational. It's just being a bit of a dick.
Sex is fun, healthy, natural, and it can increase intimacy. On top of that, it has almost no negative consequences as long as you are careful and use common sense. It's as simple as that.
Also, how were my counter arguments poor? Could you point out their flaws please? It's extremely hypocritical to attack me for not making a structured argument and then not make one yourself! Dear me.
Tbh, does it really matter if you have sex now or after marriage?
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Original post by Popppppy
Out of curiosity, I'm realising that it's going to be near impossible for me to find a boyfriend who is happy with the fact that I'm saving sex for marriage, wondering how alone in the belief I actually am.
inb4 You're so weird for saving sex for marriage etc etc etc... boring, heard it all before.
inb4 You're so weird for saving sex for marriage etc etc etc... boring, heard it all before.
Bit late for me now... But I admire you. If he's the right guy- he won't mind waiting!
Original post by Tabzqt
Sex is fun,
It can be. But it can also be painful. The first time usually is. And after that, if a girl isn't aroused properly it can be incredibly painful and even dangerous. Stress and depression can often lead to this. Those aren't obscure conditions, most people experience them at some point or another. Doesn't sound terribly fun.
Original post by Tabzqt
healthy
Again it can be. And I'll admit there is evidence it often has health benefits. But so do pears for goodness sake. Are you going to start calling everyone who doesn't eat pears stupid?
Original post by Tabzqt
natural,
http://www.logicallyfallacious.com/index.php/logical-fallacies/37-appeal-to-nature
Original post by Tabzqt
and it can increase intimacy.
This is just vague. I'm not even sure what you're getting at. At you saying its impossible to be intimate with someone without sex? And again, as I said before, stuff like it 'can' do this and it 'can' do that is ridiculously unspecific and not good support for blanket statements. I could also say having sex with only one person after you've made a public declaration of love 'can increase intimacy,' but I'd hardly use that as an argument for what everyone should do.
Original post by Tabzqt
On top of that, it has almost no negative consequences as long as you are careful and use common sense. It's as simple as that.
It can cause both physical and emotional pain. If you aren't aware of that then you've let a very comfy, sheltered life. Besides that, it can spread disease. (Your above point about condoms being completely effective is just wrong.)
Above all these things: I don't want to have sex yet. I don't actually need a reason, or a daft list of 'positive and negative consequences' to make that decision. I just don't want to. That's my 'natural urge' right there. I don't want to. I don't have any beliefs about whether a person 'should' or 'shouldn't' have sex, unlike you.
Original post by Tabzqt
Also, how were my counter arguments poor? Could you point out their flaws please? It's extremely hypocritical to attack me for not making a structured argument and then not make one yourself! Dear me.
Okay.
Original post by Tabzqt
Condoms protect against the vast majority of STDs and if you and your partner trust each other (no cheating) and go to the clinic on a regular basis you will have very little to worry about.
If you are in a long term relationship with a partner you trust (you're in a relationship with them so you should probably trust them anyway...) then being used for sex really shouldn't be a concern.
If you are in a long term relationship with a partner you trust (you're in a relationship with them so you should probably trust them anyway...) then being used for sex really shouldn't be a concern.
'Vast majority' is not all. However much you dress it up, it's not all. Even then, there are some very iffy statements you make here.
1) Condoms only really protect at all against diseases transferred by fluids. They provide very little protection against diseases transferred skin-to-skin, such as herpes, syphilis and HPV. You'll also find that statistics regarding anything other than HIV and pregnancy are somewhat sketchy and usually vary depending on who's making a case. Condom advocates use phrases like 'the only,' 'the most effective' preventative contraceptive method against 'some' STDs. Not 'they're really good at stopping STDs' because that's not scientifically grounded at all.
2) 'trust each other' - Oh, it's as easy as that is it? Putting your faith in someone is a pretty huge step, especially for people with trust issues. Even then, just because you trust someone doesn't mean they've haven't lied to you. Just because you trust someone doesn't mean they even know themselves. "you're in a relationship with them so you should probably trust them anyway..." Seriously...lol. That's incredibly naive.
3) 'go to the clinic on a regular basis' Again. I like how its all very simple in your mind. Not everyone has the time or money to go visit sexual health clinics all the time, because not everyone lives right next door to one. Additionally, not everyone even knows that STD scans are not included as standard in health examinations or that there is no single test that can identify every STD. You could tell them to research more, but considering your own misplaced faith in condoms above, that would be pretty hypocritical.
4) 'A long term relationship' - If you and your partner are two people who are inclined to get married once you reach 'long term' stage then this is the exact. same. bloody. thing. "Hey everyone, you shouldn't wait till marriage to have sex, but you should wait till you have a trusting, loving long term commitment!"
5) See above point about 'natural urges.' Not everyone is grunting and sweating in their desperation for sex.
unfortunately u have to wait till marriage..
but then at that age u wouldnt get the desperate and temptation feeling...i believe sex is best when ur probably a teenager because at that point ur going through puberty and your urges and desires are very high thats why it would feel better and more special..
this goes for guys though mostly..
but then at that age u wouldnt get the desperate and temptation feeling...i believe sex is best when ur probably a teenager because at that point ur going through puberty and your urges and desires are very high thats why it would feel better and more special..
this goes for guys though mostly..
As a girl, I've done pretty much everything but and enjoyed that hugely but I wouldn't do it till I got married. Not for any religious reasons, but because I don't really want to give myself away like that to someone who I can't be very sure is fully committed to me.
I didn't save myself for marriage: I'm not religious and I don't hold marriage in high importance. If someone wants to save themselves for marriage, then that's cool. I wouldn't necessarily give them more respect because of this choice, though. Saving yourself doesn't make you better or more moral then someone who chooses to partake in pre-marital sex.
The one thing I don't understand however, is when people decide to do sexual acts yet still claim to be saving themselves for marriage. I don't think anyone could argue that fingering, oral etc, weren't classed under sex. Surely it's all or nothing?
The one thing I don't understand however, is when people decide to do sexual acts yet still claim to be saving themselves for marriage. I don't think anyone could argue that fingering, oral etc, weren't classed under sex. Surely it's all or nothing?
Original post by A5ko
It would be interesting to see how many of these people who are saving themselves for sex are actually people who haven't had any 'luck' and try to validate this by claiming one of the above options.
I'm actually a girl and have had the option to sleep with someone quite a few times (particularly on nights out!) but always declined. It's always extremely tempting though. I guess it's kind of a self-reinforcing cycle - a lot of the religious people I know who don't want to have sex before marriage won't even go clubbing or get drunk because they are scared they might have the chance to "get lucky" and so they never do. Seems a bit like they're depriving themselves unnecessarily, but there you go.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm actually a girl and have had the option to sleep with someone quite a few times (particularly on nights out!) but always declined. It's always extremely tempting though. I guess it's kind of a self-reinforcing cycle - a lot of the religious people I know who don't want to have sex before marriage won't even go clubbing or get drunk because they are scared they might have the chance to "get lucky" and so they never do. Seems a bit like they're depriving themselves unnecessarily, but there you go.
I can understand why some people do decide to do it. It does take a strong will if the option is presented. It would just be interesting to see how many (if any), use an excuse in place of the truth.
Original post by Popppppy
Out of curiosity, I'm realising that it's going to be near impossible for me to find a boyfriend who is happy with the fact that I'm saving sex for marriage, wondering how alone in the belief I actually am.
inb4 You're so weird for saving sex for marriage etc etc etc... boring, heard it all before.
inb4 You're so weird for saving sex for marriage etc etc etc... boring, heard it all before.
Not that weird and with the cheesey-ness if they aint ' prepared to wait not the right person for them
Got to try before you buy! I'm glad I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend, and I'm glad that I've slept with the people I have since. It's not something I'd want to hold back if iI'm in a relationship, just because I'm waiting until I'm married, because the likelihood is, that he wont have done either.
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