Guys; Do you like it when women approach you first?

Yes, it feels very good to be approached as it serves as a boost to one's self-confidence - in fact, most of my previous flings and relationships started out with the girl approaching me rather than the other way round. Still not sure why that was, most likely a combo of several factors. (Initially I lacked the confidence to approach someone, but recently that has not been the case)

Reply 21

Mr Smurf

20

If I find her attractive its very nice. :sexface:

Original post by xStaceyy

So I read these forums a lot and there always seems to be questions from guys asking how to approach a girl they like or what to say to let her know that he likes her.
Sometimes you'll find a thread from a girl saying she really likes this guy but he won't ask her out or whatever. Its pretty rare to see a thread where a girl is asking for advice about how to ask a guy out. Kinda interesting to me!

So really my question is; Guys, do you prefer to make the first move or do you like it when a girl is confident and asks you out first?

Would make my day if that were to ever happen. I can see why it's viewed as desperate in say, a nightclub but in general it can only be a good thing. Especially if it's really hard to tell if someone does actually like you, which lots of people struggle with regardless of gender.

Even if you aren't interested it's still a confidence boost as it shows that they found you attractive. Girls always get reassurance they're good looking, a lot of guys have no idea.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 23

NidaJaffri

13

I don't usually engage in these convos. But I got 2 letters for you: UP. Ellie approached Carl. Sweetest thing EVER.

Reply 24

Millie228

9

Original post by Panda Bear

Why not?

Explained pretty well here really
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html

Reply 25

Krish4791

4

Original post by Millie228

Explained pretty well here really
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html

A lot of people don't fit that mould though, especially if the girls in question have nothing to lose (or are just relatively more confident).

Reply 26

Millie228

9

Original post by Krish4791

A lot of people don't fit that mould though, especially if the girls in question have nothing to lose (or are just relatively more confident).

"Nothing to lose" means that the guys she is really attracted to doesn't approach her anyway, and there is a reason for that. She is better off improving herself than trying to get with a guy she doesn't care about, who probably just went for her because she was available.
Being confident has nothing to do with it - the article argues that even if a girl is comfortable approaching men, she still shouldn't. It's a matter of intelligence and savvy, not confidence. A lot of guys would be up for a shag anyway, so the chances of being flat up rejected when approaching a man are low.

Reply 27

Panda Bear

17

Original post by Millie228

Explained pretty well here really
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html

I was tempted to stop reading the when I saw 'rules', but didn't. That article makes it out as if all boys and girls are exactly the same. I still see no reason for a girl to ask out a boy. If you like someone, go for it.

Reply 28

Millie228

9

Original post by Panda Bear

I was tempted to stop reading the when I saw 'rules', but didn't. That article makes it out as if all boys and girls are exactly the same. I still see no reason for a girl to ask out a boy. If you like someone, go for it.

Why do you think it says "revisited"? Because the old "rules", a dating guide made by women, is not completely true, so it's a new look at it.
Not all men and women are the same, that is why he says "on the whole". But a lot of people are looking for the same thing and although people are different, the approach for success is not that different. There are exceptions to everything, but any wise person would assume they are the norm, not the exception. Although some people play the lottery, that's up to them.

Reply 29

hasan4life

15

Original post by xStaceyy

So I read these forums a lot and there always seems to be questions from guys asking how to approach a girl they like or what to say to let her know that he likes her.
Sometimes you'll find a thread from a girl saying she really likes this guy but he won't ask her out or whatever. Its pretty rare to see a thread where a girl is asking for advice about how to ask a guy out. Kinda interesting to me!

So really my question is; Guys, do you prefer to make the first move or do you like it when a girl is confident and asks you out first?

yes FGS ive been waiting for u to make a move on me, finally, ill be waiting :colone:

Original post by im so academic

In genuine honesty, what if the girl wasn't attractive?

just say i have a gf ini lulz

Reply 30

Charlatan?

Original post by xStaceyy

So I read these forums a lot and there always seems to be questions from guys asking how to approach a girl they like or what to say to let her know that he likes her.
Sometimes you'll find a thread from a girl saying she really likes this guy but he won't ask her out or whatever. Its pretty rare to see a thread where a girl is asking for advice about how to ask a guy out. Kinda interesting to me!

So really my question is; Guys, do you prefer to make the first move or do you like it when a girl is confident and asks you out first?

It's weird and emasculating.

:colondollar:

Reply 31

danadd9

12

It's just swell when it happens.
80% of the time I won't approach a girl because I assume she's already seeing someone.
Yep.

Reply 32

xStaceyy

OP

17

Original post by hasan4life

yes FGS ive been waiting for u to make a move on me, finally, ill be waiting

FGS?

Reply 33

Black Cat

20

I would be delighted tired of the fact boys have to approach the girls all the time.

Reply 34

hasan4life

15

Original post by xStaceyy

FGS?

for god sake

Reply 35

Tabzqt

Original post by Millie228

Explained pretty well here really
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html

this basically summed up is:
"women, don't go for shy guys".

and then they wonder why they get used by douchebags :rolleyes:

well as im a little shy I would prefer it although its never happened :frown:

Reply 37

Millie228

9

Original post by Tabzqt

this basically summed up is:
"women, don't go for shy guys".

and then they wonder why they get used by douchebags :rolleyes:

Because men are either shy or douchebags? Women want a man who is a good person and confident in the same way men want a woman who is attractive but not a slut. Telling people that such a person doesn't exist is a lie and a defense mechanism.
Confidence is the most important attribute to attract women and that is something men have to get used to. A man who's too shy to approach women falls in the same category as a woman who doesn't take care of herself - they need to change to become successful with the opposite sex, rather than waiting for everybody else to fix things for them.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 38

xStaceyy

OP

17

Original post by hasan4life

for god sake

Ohhh haha, gotcha! :^_^:

Reply 39

Spontogical

I'd find it flattering and I'd have respect for her. Doesn't mean I'll be more inclined to say yes - but I'll always remember you on a good note. :smug:

Guys; Do you like it when women approach you first?

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