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Girlfriend thinking about her ex? o.O

My girlfriend fully admitted to me last night that she has been thinking about her ex-boyfriend and has compared the benefits and cons of our relationship to how it was with her ex =/ I got her to tell me because I knew something was bothering her and I wanted to talk about how she felt.. We've been together nearly 7 months and I just wondered whether I should be concerned about this? =/

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Reply 1

emeritus2011

If i were you i would jump before i was pushed

Reply 2

DH-Biker

Yeah, I'd be concerned.

What brought this about? Has something happened between the pair of you too make her think back to how things used to be with her ex? :s-smilie:

Reply 3

Azure101

Well, I'm not entirely sure what set it off but she did recieve a text from him on Monday but didnt bring it up until Friday, however she did say she had been having these thoughts since the first time he texted her.. I'm a little confused to be honest =/

Reply 4

Preeka

I think it depends.. as much as it is bad to compare a current relationship with a past one, I personally think most people end up comparing subconsciously and without meaning to. In a way, it's natural to note that this thing or that thing is different to how you may be used to it. But I think this is one of those things that people don't really admit outright so the fact that she did tell you might mean something bad but then again, she may feel like she has nothing to hide so it may just be an attempt at honesty without meaning the worst?

Reply 5

rasabet

wasnt that really awkward? If I had openly told my boyfriend that I'd been thinking about my ex alot recently and comparing the two he'd be concerned I know that much..do you know what they've been saying to each other through these texts? Because he might've said something that would've triggered this thought about him and the fact that she's actually comparing you to each other...that's not cool... if my boyfriend started comparing me to his ex.. It wouldnt exactly be the nicest of feelings now would it? :s-smilie:

Reply 6

Azure101

I did ask her to tell me because I could clearly see and hear in her voice that something was bothering her, the only thing she admitted to liking more about her relationship with her ex was that she felt more powerful in the relationship and by this I mean after an argument, they would be grovelling at her feet begging her to forgive them which I do not do. She said she felt guilty about the whole thing and made her feel like she didnt deserve me.. I don't know what conclusions to draw!

Reply 7

Yawn11

I'd have sex with her one last time, then tell to her **** off back to her ex afterwards.

Reply 8

Azure101

I'd really prefer not to have to break up over this... I cant help but think I've messed it up somewhere o.O

Reply 9

freakingout!

Original post by Azure101

I'd really prefer not to have to break up over this... I cant help but think I've messed it up somewhere o.O

Okay, she's been thinking about her ex, but in what context?

You say she is making comparisons, s what is her 'conclusion' (if you know what I mean) after making these comparisons?

Have you asked her?

Reply 10

freakingout!

Also how long has she been withh er ex? (how long did their relationship last?)

Reply 11

Kater Murr

Yeah, you should be concerned, clearly. She's essentially saying she's worried you aren't up to par, and, furthermore, that you're even less up to par than the last guy she dumped for not being up to par.

Reply 12

Azure101

She was with her ex for about 8 months, so we're coming up to that also... She did say she reached a conclusion that she wanted me and I dont need to worry about these feelings.. Still for her to have them is a little bit strange, she asked me to think about how a relationship with someone else may be different.. It's really very confusing!!

Reply 13

*Dreaming*

Her comparing you both is out of order tbh. Tell her to go back to her ex if she loves him so much.

Reply 14

freakingout!

Original post by Azure101

She seems like a douche bag tbh.

Im assuming she's younger than 21? Because it's quite immature behaviour...she should realise that every relationship is different/unique...

She seems very young...maybe not in age...but in mind...

Reply 15

AreYouDizzeeBlud_x

She was with her ex for 8 months.

She has been with you for 7 months.

Dude, you have a month left! Please get off TSR and have as much sex as possible!

We don't want you coming on here in a month starting a thread 'I'm heart broken and haven't had sex for a month do we?'

Who cares!

Smash her back doors in and forget about it. I used to get worked up over my ex. The more you worry about it the more pressure it'll put on the relationship.

Reply 18

hanaalou

you don't need to break up with her!I once said a similar thing about comparing the relationships. realised after it was such a silly thing to say. and it didn't mean at all that I don't think the world of my other half :smile:

Reply 19

Azure101

Hmmmmm.. Alright guys, I'll just see what she says today.. I'm going to bring it up again I suppose since I'm still not sure if she's sure what she wants! I'll reply back later if anyone cares xD