Original post by AnonymousTo begin, I think it may have to do with some of my problems with all women, which is either being too intense and keen or alternatively to totally aloof and cold.
Anyway, this is what happened;
Met a girl out one night, yes only brief. She was very striking not pretty as such, just had a real presence and I was compelled by her. Looked in her direction and for I think maybe the one time in my life(twenties at least), would you believe it, she comes over to me at the queue for bar. We talk, and it just feels good. Not a connection like I've had with a girl for....just about forever. She's open, attractive, and seems to like me. She introduces herself we shake hands and she goes offf to chat to the people she went there with. I must have been too absent minded to offer her a drink at the time. Then I see her again a few weeks after. She's beautiful, again. I approach at the bar and am a bit tounge tied, but tell her I recognise her, think she maybe remembers. I don't say much,w e both order, then I say cheers or whatever. She goes back to her colleageus, or people she went with. Then she tries to engage me when I walk around the other bar, she's with a guy, Iscrew it up, cos he's there, dunno what to say to him, dunno him from adam, and think he'll get in the way or know I fancy her. (He wasn't really attractive, so I didn't feel threatened that way) I got shy and just went off. So m any times I've done stuff like this without thinking, thinking I may as well avoid anything that doesnt get me to my goal, but I shoot myself in the foot and stop myself getting there. That was her engaging me, twice, and I'm tounge tied both times. She leaves before the others a bit later and we exchange a smile and goodbye. I've seen her around since, she's incredible looking, and tough and beautiful and mysterious looking, I get heartbeats fast and everything near her. That feeling I've always wanted. I see her shopping, she sort of sidles up to me and may be gamcning at me friendly, but I'm so nervous I **** up. I don't engage her, not sure if it's too long, but she did recall me. I wouldn;t get those nerves if she had no effect on me. I walk out feeling this incredible melancholy.(which hits me when I see her at later days) Right after that I get hit by the urgency of life, and the stength of my feelings and , recalling her name, as you would when you have a good chat with someone, and they tell you it, I look herup, not via facebook, but a network site, and I get in touch, but this, althoug just after seeing her in the shop, is a good few months later, I'm talking virtually 6.
Now, you may say thats weird, but I'm notr an any girl type of guy.
Womwne always confude me, saying they want to be made to feel special and not just a viable option or for when someone is desperate but if you are really into just them that can creep them out. or be too intense. They seem to reasd things differently. Talking to my female friend on the net I ask advice. She inteprets it from a feamle perspective. She says my contacted her a good later(than we last talked rather than when I last saw her) may look bad, like desperation and just dredging her up as an option. I did try extra hard to sound casual and maybe this gave a bad impression, cos the reality is the opposite, this girl really has something, and it's not like all the signals had been negative, I mean how many times do girls approach a guy themselves and not wait? She can't be insecure or thinking I dont fancy her if she has that confidence. She smiled and was warm the other times, in the pub then in the shop where I was nervous and didn't know what to do. i feel like such a cretin. I now wish I had been prepared and hadn't spent the last however many years with my head up my arse and not learning stuff like this. I should have got in touch at the time but I suppose I just thought I'll see her down the pub at radnom, silly big gamble, and now my one female friend thinks the late contact may have created a bad impression. I don't know whether it came over overly casual and like i was just dredging her up, or like iot was too stalkerish, but I had to act on my feelings. I wish I'd put it differently now.