Guys; Do you like it when women approach you first?
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Original post by Lucia.
There's plenty of shy douchebags as well.
This = "nice guy"
(Edit: I'm guessing the neg came from a self-defined "nice guy"?)
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Ezekiella
This = "nice guy"
No as they are douche bag still
Original post by Jack22031994
No as they are douche bag still
I meant "nice guys" as in the pejorative term describing guys who pretend to actually like and want a relationship with a girl and do favours for her when they just want to sleep with her, as opposed to actually nice, decent, genuine guys.
Original post by Ezekiella
I meant "nice guys" as in the pejorative term describing guys who pretend to actually like and want a relationship with a girl and do favours for her when they just want to sleep with her, as opposed to actually nice, decent, genuine guys.
ah Ok - sorry i'm still half a sleep
Original post by Millie228
Truth. The ones who neg you for this are women who aren't approached and men who don't have the balls to approach, which I guess is most of TSR.
It's unbelievable how many are miserable and start threads about their unhappy love lives but aren't willing to hear the truth from anyone. If what you've been doing until now doesn't work, then obviously you need to change.
It's unbelievable how many are miserable and start threads about their unhappy love lives but aren't willing to hear the truth from anyone. If what you've been doing until now doesn't work, then obviously you need to change.
Couldn't have put it better, most boys on here are saying they'd like that, but deep down they'd run as fast as they could when, or if, it comes to it.
Original post by Alimbo95
Couldn't have put it better, most boys on here are saying they'd like that, but deep down they'd run as fast as they could when, or if, it comes to it.
This. The assumption is that guys chase (and TBH they do if you're half attractive), so any girl who has to do the chasing herself must be desperate/have something seriously wrong with her. May not be true but unfortunately that's just the way a lot of guys think..
Also, speaking from experience I have approach a couple of "shy guys" in the past and although they liked me back in both cases they expected me to sleep with them pretty much immediately. At least in my experience, if you chase a guy he will assume he is entitled to a lot more than if it were the other way around, as after all he is the one choosing to be with you this time.
Original post by Millie228
Truth. The ones who neg you for this are women who aren't approached and men who don't have the balls to approach, which I guess is most of TSR.
It's unbelievable how many are miserable and start threads about their unhappy love lives but aren't willing to hear the truth from anyone. If what you've been doing until now doesn't work, then obviously you need to change.
It's unbelievable how many are miserable and start threads about their unhappy love lives but aren't willing to hear the truth from anyone. If what you've been doing until now doesn't work, then obviously you need to change.
Yes I agree. And to add something to that, it's not because you think that men should or that you don't want to make a move. Sometimes I do want to but I don't because it's not very difficult for a woman to come across as 'desperate' or 'easy'. Some men will see an approach as an action which elicits sexual attention.
Original post by Kage
I'd hope the girls I'm interested in would know I'm not the kind of guy that would be a complete **** to them.
I don't come across as that kind of guy, but I also know I'm not at all confident, however much I try to hide that fact
I'd love it if a girl came up to me, like many guys do to girls. I'm honestly feeling low at the minute, like no one likes me etc, and I need some kind of pick up.
I've never had any luck with anyone.
A certain girl asking to hang out (I know she wouldn't) would send me skyward for a while. I can't honestly do it, because its obvious to her I'm interested, but I have no idea if she is, and at work I'd rather not have a set back like that, as it would send me even lower.
Maybe its best its kept the way it is, as I almost think I've become almost a joke to her and her friend now.
I just don't have the confidence, after so many set backs, with my life a complete shambles at the minute. A flip of the usual arrangement would be good.
I've deleted my POF account because it was getting me so damn low that I'd message girls (7 last week, and not complete random ones, but ones I thought were interesting/attractive), and I got views but not one reply from any of them.
I don't come across as that kind of guy, but I also know I'm not at all confident, however much I try to hide that fact
I'd love it if a girl came up to me, like many guys do to girls. I'm honestly feeling low at the minute, like no one likes me etc, and I need some kind of pick up.
I've never had any luck with anyone.
A certain girl asking to hang out (I know she wouldn't) would send me skyward for a while. I can't honestly do it, because its obvious to her I'm interested, but I have no idea if she is, and at work I'd rather not have a set back like that, as it would send me even lower.
Maybe its best its kept the way it is, as I almost think I've become almost a joke to her and her friend now.
I just don't have the confidence, after so many set backs, with my life a complete shambles at the minute. A flip of the usual arrangement would be good.
I've deleted my POF account because it was getting me so damn low that I'd message girls (7 last week, and not complete random ones, but ones I thought were interesting/attractive), and I got views but not one reply from any of them.
Cheer up fella, you just need to pick yourself up and be more confident in yourself, accept yourself for who you are and be happy. It will work wonders.
Original post by xStaceyy
So I read these forums a lot and there always seems to be questions from guys asking how to approach a girl they like or what to say to let her know that he likes her.
Sometimes you'll find a thread from a girl saying she really likes this guy but he won't ask her out or whatever. Its pretty rare to see a thread where a girl is asking for advice about how to ask a guy out. Kinda interesting to me!
So really my question is; Guys, do you prefer to make the first move or do you like it when a girl is confident and asks you out first?
Sometimes you'll find a thread from a girl saying she really likes this guy but he won't ask her out or whatever. Its pretty rare to see a thread where a girl is asking for advice about how to ask a guy out. Kinda interesting to me!
So really my question is; Guys, do you prefer to make the first move or do you like it when a girl is confident and asks you out first?
Girls approach me quite alot on nights out. I have to say - they are terrible at it, usually. You would think after the countless bad approaches they've endured from guys, they would know what not to do.
I also have to say that even if the girl makes the first move, it rarely pans out that they do any of the actual leg work in the conversation. Once they've made the first move, they tend to just sit back and let you take over from there. This is why girls who fret over making the first move are so annoying, because all they're really going to need to do is walk up to someone and say something, it's not like they have to learn our job (which, trust me, can sometimes be painstaking).
Original post by xStaceyy
So I read these forums a lot and there always seems to be questions from guys asking how to approach a girl they like or what to say to let her know that he likes her.
Sometimes you'll find a thread from a girl saying she really likes this guy but he won't ask her out or whatever. Its pretty rare to see a thread where a girl is asking for advice about how to ask a guy out. Kinda interesting to me!
So really my question is; Guys, do you prefer to make the first move or do you like it when a girl is confident and asks you out first?
Sometimes you'll find a thread from a girl saying she really likes this guy but he won't ask her out or whatever. Its pretty rare to see a thread where a girl is asking for advice about how to ask a guy out. Kinda interesting to me!
So really my question is; Guys, do you prefer to make the first move or do you like it when a girl is confident and asks you out first?
Most girls nowadays are crazy, so for one to display the confidence to ask you, and the certainty that they like you is very reassuring and a pleasant change from the norm aka girl likes you, but is cold and silent to you....and expects you to ask them out
Original post by Kage
I'd hope the girls I'm interested in would know I'm not the kind of guy that would be a complete **** to them.
I don't come across as that kind of guy, but I also know I'm not at all confident, however much I try to hide that fact
I'd love it if a girl came up to me, like many guys do to girls. I'm honestly feeling low at the minute, like no one likes me etc, and I need some kind of pick up.
I've never had any luck with anyone.
A certain girl asking to hang out (I know she wouldn't) would send me skyward for a while. I can't honestly do it, because its obvious to her I'm interested, but I have no idea if she is, and at work I'd rather not have a set back like that, as it would send me even lower.
Maybe its best its kept the way it is, as I almost think I've become almost a joke to her and her friend now.
I just don't have the confidence, after so many set backs, with my life a complete shambles at the minute. A flip of the usual arrangement would be good.
I've deleted my POF account because it was getting me so damn low that I'd message girls (7 last week, and not complete random ones, but ones I thought were interesting/attractive), and I got views but not one reply from any of them.
I don't come across as that kind of guy, but I also know I'm not at all confident, however much I try to hide that fact
I'd love it if a girl came up to me, like many guys do to girls. I'm honestly feeling low at the minute, like no one likes me etc, and I need some kind of pick up.
I've never had any luck with anyone.
A certain girl asking to hang out (I know she wouldn't) would send me skyward for a while. I can't honestly do it, because its obvious to her I'm interested, but I have no idea if she is, and at work I'd rather not have a set back like that, as it would send me even lower.
Maybe its best its kept the way it is, as I almost think I've become almost a joke to her and her friend now.
I just don't have the confidence, after so many set backs, with my life a complete shambles at the minute. A flip of the usual arrangement would be good.
I've deleted my POF account because it was getting me so damn low that I'd message girls (7 last week, and not complete random ones, but ones I thought were interesting/attractive), and I got views but not one reply from any of them.
Move country. I'm not joking. 95% of girls in the UK are crazy.
Oh, and don't beat yourself up over the online dating. All of the girls on them have no idea what they want and don't know why they are there. I know of a few people on them at the moment, and only the girls success as the guys get more hits per day....but no messages....no replies....nothing. Girls just don't know what they want and I'm starting to think they never will in this country, or if they do, it will be way too late for them. So as I said, move country or meet foreigners as they just seem more grounded and realistic over relationships.
Original post by Dark Horse
Girls approach me quite alot on nights out. I have to say - they are terrible at it, usually. You would think after the countless bad approaches they've endured from guys, they would know what not to do.
I also have to say that even if the girl makes the first move, it rarely pans out that they do any of the actual leg work in the conversation. Once they've made the first move, they tend to just sit back and let you take over from there. This is why girls who fret over making the first move are so annoying, because all they're really going to need to do is walk up to someone and say something, it's not like they have to learn our job (which, trust me, can sometimes be painstaking).
I also have to say that even if the girl makes the first move, it rarely pans out that they do any of the actual leg work in the conversation. Once they've made the first move, they tend to just sit back and let you take over from there. This is why girls who fret over making the first move are so annoying, because all they're really going to need to do is walk up to someone and say something, it's not like they have to learn our job (which, trust me, can sometimes be painstaking).
A-****ing-men to that. So true and so accurate.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Krish4791
A lot of people don't fit that mould though, especially if the girls in question have nothing to lose (or are just relatively more confident).
This especially.
A lot of people on this thread seem to think that shy people choose to be shy, and that it's just a character trait that can be changed.
There's a difference between shyness and introversion
Shyness= scared to socialise
Introversion= not interested in socialising
Shy guys are cursed to live in a society where men are expected to make the move.
Shy men may need help to overcome their shyness, and having a girl make a move could be the thing that finally cures them.
Girls: you could save a life by making a move with a shy guy.
inb4 alpha male bull****
There's a difference between shyness and introversion
Shyness= scared to socialise
Introversion= not interested in socialising
Shy guys are cursed to live in a society where men are expected to make the move.
Shy men may need help to overcome their shyness, and having a girl make a move could be the thing that finally cures them.
Girls: you could save a life by making a move with a shy guy.
inb4 alpha male bull****
Original post by Telecaster Steak
A lot of people on this thread seem to think that shy people choose to be shy, and that it's just a character trait that can be changed.
There's a difference between shyness and introversion
Shyness= scared to socialise
Introversion= not interested in socialising
Shy guys are cursed to live in a society where men are expected to make the move.
Shy men may need help to overcome their shyness, and having a girl make a move could be the thing that finally cures them.
Girls: you could save a life by making a move with a shy guy.
inb4 alpha male bull****
There's a difference between shyness and introversion
Shyness= scared to socialise
Introversion= not interested in socialising
Shy guys are cursed to live in a society where men are expected to make the move.
Shy men may need help to overcome their shyness, and having a girl make a move could be the thing that finally cures them.
Girls: you could save a life by making a move with a shy guy.
inb4 alpha male bull****
Agreed
Original post by Telecaster Steak
A lot of people on this thread seem to think that shy people choose to be shy, and that it's just a character trait that can be changed.
There's a difference between shyness and introversion
Shyness= scared to socialise
Introversion= not interested in socialising
Shy guys are cursed to live in a society where men are expected to make the move.
Shy men may need help to overcome their shyness, and having a girl make a move could be the thing that finally cures them.
Girls: you could save a life by making a move with a shy guy.
inb4 alpha male bull****
There's a difference between shyness and introversion
Shyness= scared to socialise
Introversion= not interested in socialising
Shy guys are cursed to live in a society where men are expected to make the move.
Shy men may need help to overcome their shyness, and having a girl make a move could be the thing that finally cures them.
Girls: you could save a life by making a move with a shy guy.
inb4 alpha male bull****
Of course it's a character trait that can be changed.
I would like that. I have problems with my self-confidence, to be honest.
Only been approached once by a girl. The problem was that I was almost unconscious from drink and being looked after by friends in the bar.
I dunno. Maybe I only look hot when almost passed out.
I dunno. Maybe I only look hot when almost passed out.
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