What should I do with my step-mother

I never realised how hard it was to be perfect all the time.
She did come up and talk to me a few minutes ago. She was saying that she wants to be able to trust and believe in me. She says she does believe I can do it she just finds it hard because of what the out come might be. She was also saying that nearly everytime I try and do something it always ends up with someone being hurt, My brother also came over and was talking to Sarah and was starting to have a go at her. Then he got told my dads and Sarahs side and he came and told me I needed to respect her. What is bothering me is that Sarah is going away till about Saturday or Sunday (can't remember) and she is leaving early in the morning (I probably wont see or hear her get up.) I don't want her to go away with me in her bad books. When she goes away I want her to say how much she loves me and how much she is going to miss me. I bet she is thinking thank God I am going to be away from her

I never realised how hard it was to be perfect all the time.
She did come up and talk to me a few minutes ago. She was saying that she wants to be able to trust and believe in me. She says she does believe I can do it she just finds it hard because of what the out come might be. She was also saying that nearly everytime I try and do something it always ends up with someone being hurt, My brother also came over and was talking to Sarah and was starting to have a go at her. Then he got told my dads and Sarahs side and he came and told me I needed to respect her. What is bothering me is that Sarah is going away till about Saturday or Sunday (can't remember) and she is leaving early in the morning (I probably wont see or hear her get up.) I don't want her to go away with me in her bad books. When she goes away I want her to say how much she loves me and how much she is going to miss me. I bet she is thinking thank God I am going to be away from her

I told her the only reason I used to act out as much as I did was for the attention, I never got as much when I didn't act out, I want her to know I love her. What is bothering me is that Sarah is going away till about Saturday or Sunday (can't remember) and she is leaving early in the morning (I probably wont see or hear her get up.) I don't want her to go away with me in her bad books. When she goes away I want her to say how much she loves me and how much she is going to miss me. I bet she is thinking thank God I am going to be away from her

I thought you meant your little step-brother and I was so surprised! Haha.
I'm sure she isn't thinking that at all. The fact she came to talk to you shows she hasn't given up on you, she wants to give things a go, just like you do.
Did you say sorry? Because if you didn't, set your alarm early tomorrow, say sorry to her and 'have a nice trip' and then give her a hug. If you don't think you'll wake up, make her a card or note saying thanks and sorry and enjoy your trip and push it under her door tonight, or in the kitchen when she leaves it. I'm sure it will mean a lot to her, especially as she can think on the journey. Say some more personal stuff if you like too.

Now, I don't want to sound pessimistic or hurt you - but I think you should take smaller steps. I know that you want her to love you but please don't be hurt if she doesn't say all the things you want to hear by tomorrow (I assume she's leaving tomorrow?). Take smaller steps and be patient - and don't react by getting angry And don't put yourself down by thinking that she's happy that you're going to be away - it's only going to make you feel even worse and even more angry.

If you want her to think better of you before she leaves, I'd suggest writing her a very honest letter about how you feel and giving it to her before she leaves. In that way, you'll have told her what you want and she'll have time to think about it before she comes home. At the end of the letter you could ask her if you two could talk about everything after she comes back.

I didn't catch her this morning but what I am going to do is get welcome home banners and ballons and me and my step brother are going to her her a teddy that is holding a heart saying I Love You Mummy. My dad is going to see if Sarah is free on Saturday night (She is coming home then) so the two of us can maybe talk and rent a film to watch. I also bought a I am sorry card which I will give to her when she comes back.
In the beginning of July we break up from school and Sarah is going to try and take a few days off I might be able to skype her tonight so hopefully I will be able to speak to her before Saturday, I actually miss having her around.

Banners and balloons might be a bit OTT, but a card saying that you missed having her around might hit the spot. Btw, if you want to have a proper talk with someone, an activity without distractions (eg, a country walk) is better than a film. But if you just want a bit of bonding, a film is just the job.

Whos Barney Stinson?

I cannot believe you threw a piece of toast with butter and jam on it at someone's face. What a ****ing idiot you are.

Banners and balloons might be a bit OTT, but a card saying that you missed having her around might hit the spot. Btw, if you want to have a proper talk with someone, an activity without distractions (eg, a country walk) is better than a film. But if you just want a bit of bonding, a film is just the job.

The film was perfect for bonding. Sarah was tired and fell asleep. Origianlly in my family before Sarah if I ever fell asleep my brother or dad would draw a moustache on me, I mentioned this and my dad got a marker. It was funny but it is a family activity in a way because all of us were involved! Sarah was a bit mad when she saw. Were going on a walk today I will get to have a talk with Sarah and when the conversation about me calling her mum and stuff is over I will propably beg for a dog again!

The film was perfect for bonding. Sarah was tired and fell asleep. Origianlly in my family before Sarah if I ever fell asleep my brother or dad would draw a moustache on me, I mentioned this and my dad got a marker. It was funny but it is a family activity in a way because all of us were involved! Sarah was a bit mad when she saw. Were going on a walk today I will get to have a talk with Sarah and when the conversation about me calling her mum and stuff is over I will propably beg for a dog again!

I'm not sure it's the right time for asking for a dog. Remember you said that Sarah and her sister suspected your motives for being nice? You want her to realise that you really are trying to change, rather than just doing it to get a dog. Plus, with a new baby on the way, a dog might be a bit too much for the family.

Can I also say, haven't just read through this thread today, keep at it. You seem to have been trying really hard, and it's actually quite moving how much you want to get along with you step-mum.

There are lots of things on life we just don't like. We all hold opinions and thats where conflicts start. I used to have this with my parents all the time the whole stop treating me like a child thing I guess it is harder for you not being your biological parent but in hindsight weirdly enough I can see my parents were right (I was a bit of an arse). This is probably going to come out a little insulting but you are still a child I know you probably feel that you are all grown up but you are not and there is still a lot to learn. When you enter the real world there will be lots of people with rules you have to follow but don't like that is how it works. In order to get along in life rules are made (and trust me I am 18 and still feel like a child and have few committments and responsibilities so I am not afraid to say in many aspects I am). I rarely argue with my parents anymore their rules haven't changed but to an extent I have. It sucks but sometimes suck up and get used to it. In the future you will have an employer to listen to with rules to follow who won't be your parent either but the rules still stand. I am sorry you are not happy but nor was I and I am now and have a fantastic relationship with my parents I honestly wish I had been more like my older brother a few years back and I would have saved myself a lot of trouble ( he's the nice child) and would apologise and the argument would end when I would keep it going a few days. I have been locked outside, in a conservatorty, made to sit in a corner and in a shed. I have been grounded for a day, a week, a month and have had my door taken off the hinges until I tidied up. ( and I cant say i did anything except speak to them rudly, not tidy up or not do somethong I was told to) However none if this has happened in the past 4 years and to be honest if I was them I would have lost my temper long ago. It sounds stupid but apologise and try to follow the rules at the end of the day have you considered your step mother had to follow rules once? I leave home in September for uni and I kind of wish I could stay at hpme and not think about paying the bills organising my time and having someone around to.push be to work when I just can't be bothered. Try talking (not having a go at) your step mother and she may we explain why she has her rules and punishments. It wont help you to hear this now but give it a few years and you will see it could have been worse. Again I am sorry you are unhappy and I am not trying to have a go at you but your life will be happier and easier if you.find out why the boindaries are as they are (as for cussing and a three year old bad idea I can see exactly why she doesn't like that)

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sweet

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I thought there was freedom of speech not freedom of speech but if you say bad stuff you go in the corner. She is horrible I get put in the corner for other stuff as well and afterwards I have to apologise. I once had to do it when her stupid sister was over and it was embarressing I am 13 not 3 like her son

How do I show her with out her taking the baby from me? She wont even let me watch my step brother for extra money. she says that I am not patient enough to look after them. I am. My step brother just gets on my nerves a lot more than my niece does. Every now and then I go and spend the weekend with my brother and I look after my niece then and he always says how good I am.
How do I show sarah if she wont barley let me touch my niece?

There are lots of things on life we just don't like. We all hold opinions and thats where conflicts start. I used to have this with my parents all the time the whole stop treating me like a child thing I guess it is harder for you not being your biological parent but in hindsight weirdly enough I can see my parents were right (I was a bit of an arse). This is probably going to come out a little insulting but you are still a child I know you probably feel that you are all grown up but you are not and there is still a lot to learn. When you enter the real world there will be lots of people with rules you have to follow but don't like that is how it works. In order to get along in life rules are made (and trust me I am 18 and still feel like a child and have few committments and responsibilities so I am not afraid to say in many aspects I am). I rarely argue with my parents anymore their rules haven't changed but to an extent I have. It sucks but sometimes suck up and get used to it. In the future you will have an employer to listen to with rules to follow who won't be your parent either but the rules still stand. I am sorry you are not happy but nor was I and I am now and have a fantastic relationship with my parents I honestly wish I had been more like my older brother a few years back and I would have saved myself a lot of trouble ( he's the nice child) and would apologise and the argument would end when I would keep it going a few days. I have been locked outside, in a conservatorty, made to sit in a corner and in a shed. I have been grounded for a day, a week, a month and have had my door taken off the hinges until I tidied up. ( and I cant say i did anything except speak to them rudly, not tidy up or not do somethong I was told to) However none if this has happened in the past 4 years and to be honest if I was them I would have lost my temper long ago. It sounds stupid but apologise and try to follow the rules at the end of the day have you considered your step mother had to follow rules once? I leave home in September for uni and I kind of wish I could stay at hpme and not think about paying the bills organising my time and having someone around to.push be to work when I just can't be bothered. Try talking (not having a go at) your step mother and she may we explain why she has her rules and punishments. It wont help you to hear this now but give it a few years and you will see it could have been worse. Again I am sorry you are unhappy and I am not trying to have a go at you but your life will be happier and easier if you.find out why the boindaries are as they are (as for cussing and a three year old bad idea I can see exactly why she doesn't like that)

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